Confessions of a Call Center Gal - By Lisa Lim Page 0,46
can’t wait to share this fab news with Janis. Her skillfully orchestrated Jaw Surgery Plot was a success. But this is even better.
Truong whispers, “Pssssst. There’s more to it.”
I furrow my eyebrows. “Huh? What are you talking about?”
He fills me in on all the salacious details. “Apparently, Bobby overstepped his boundaries, and that dipshit was having affairs with several women, one of them who just so happens to be Adnan’s wife.”
I draw a blank. “Who’s Adnan?”
“He’s the Armenian security guard.”
My eyes widen in horror. “Scandalous.”
Truong lowers his voice. “Girl, this is beyond scandalous. You don’t mess with the Armenians period. Adnan and his Armenian army organized a bloodless coup d'état. They planned this whole thing strategically and tactically. You see, Bob is no knucklehead. He knew that there were cameras in the parking garage, and he was so dang sure that he was in a blind spot. But what he didn’t know was that Adnan and his boys installed extra surveillance cameras.”
I gasp, “This is more twisted than a Chuck Palahniuk novel.”
Truong giggles devilishly. “The plot thickens! Adnan and his army remained vigilant. As soon as Bob slipped, they were there to capture it all. And the next day, they handed the evidence to Dick Jones.”
Abruptly, The Führer stands up, face like thunder. “Madison Lee, Truong Nguyen, GET ON THE PHONES!”
My hands tremble as I scramble for my headset. I’m about to take my first call when I notice a Starbucks caramel frappuccino sitting on my desk. It’s topped with whipped cream and drizzled with caramel sauce. The decadent treat sits next to my phone in all its caffeinated glory.
“Truong, is this from you?”
“Uh huh. And I got it with skim milk too.”
I beam at him. “Thanks, Truong! You’re the best!”
Hours later, I’m no longer singing Truong’s praises. Slumped on a chair in the HR office, I curse Truong and his stupid email for getting me and Kars in this stupid predicament.
Kars is in the hot seat next to me.
“Do you think they’ll fire us?” she asks anxiously.
My stomach churns with dread. “I don’t know...”
It had all started innocently enough with a silly joke email that Truong forwarded on to me, a joke that’s been floating around the web for quite some time now. And that email is now printed out and sitting on Linda the HR Manager’s desk.
This is the damning evidence of the crime brought against us:
11) Our meeting is scheduled for next week—Wai Yu Kum Nao
12) Staying out of sight—Lei Ying Lo
13) He’s cleaning his automobile—Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odor is offensive—Yu Stin Ki Puh
15) Great—Su Pah
16) Where’s the restroom?—Ai Pe Nau
17) I absolutely agree!—No Daut
18) Jesus child—Ho Li Boi
19) Cough up some dough!—Pei Nau
20) Go for a ride for free—Hit Hai King
When I read that email, I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair. And I thought it was so funny that I forwarded it to Kars. Over my lunch break, I decided to check up on her. Kars has a tendency to bottle up her feelings, and I wanted to make sure she was okay.
I found her sitting at her desk, looking solemn and subdued.
“You okay?” I asked gently.
A tear gathered at the edge of her eye, and I stood by Kars, doing the best thing a friend could do—I listened as she poured her heart out.
After Kars got everything off her chest, she actually started feeling sorry for Bob. “I wonder if he’ll be okay; I mean, he’s lost his job, his marriage is in shambles…” she mused out loud.
Bob was not my concern, Karsynn was. She had hit rock bottom and I wanted to lift her spirits and help her forget all about that awful man-whore, that slithering snake in the grass. Then a thought occurred to me. “Kars, have you checked your email today?”
“No,” she replied absently.
My eyes twinkled with mischief. “Pull it up,” I instructed.
In hopes of getting a chuckle out of Kars, I read each line out loud, in what I hoped