Concealed Hearts (Hometown Jasper #4) - Nicky James Page 0,90

idea of being gay either. It was devastating for me. I thought if anyone knew, it would ruin my life. In order to keep my secret, I hurt a lot of people, including a boy I thought I loved. I destroyed our relationship. I was scared. Fear’s not an excuse, but—”

“But it’s true. It’s scary, right?”

“It is, but I think you’ll find it’s not the end of the world. We make it a lot bigger and scarier in our minds.”

Felix looked thoughtful. “Probably.”

“Grant is worried about you. I talked to him a bit last night. You should give him a call. Let him know you’re all right. He cares about you. I can tell.”

“He’s not mad at me?”

“Not at all.”

Felix nodded. “Okay. Maybe.”

“You have people on your side.”

Before driving to my parents, I texted my brother, letting him know I was heading over there. What I didn’t say was how much I needed his support. I had no right to ask for it. Shay must have known regardless and told me he’d be there soon.

The minute I walked inside, my mother crushed me in her arms, tears falling. “My sweet Tomi. You know we love you so much. So, so much.”

My mother in emotional distress was my cracking point. After such a highly stressful night and carrying the weight of shame and guilt for so many years, my mother’s words sent the first tears down my cheeks until I was sobbing and clinging to her too.

“I love you, Mom. I’m so sorry. I was an idiot.”

“No being sorry. It’s okay. We love you.”

Dad placed a comforting hand on my back when Mom wouldn’t let me go. It took Shay to show up before Mom released me and stepped back. “Come inside. I’ll make tea.”

Dad followed Mom into the kitchen, and Shay squeezed my arm while I dabbed at my eyes, trying to find balance again.

“I knew you were back for a reason.” Surprising me, Shay tugged me into another hug, and new tears fell. “I sure hope this means you’ll be less of a dick now.”

I chuckled and choked on more tears. “I’ll just find other ways.”

“Don’t I know it.”

When we came apart, I glanced around. “Josiah’s not here?”

Shay shoved his hands inside his pockets, his expression hardening. “No. He didn’t feel it was his place.”

Of all people, Josiah was the one who I’d treated the worst. “I’ll apologize to him. I promise. It’s probably too late, but I’ll do it anyway.”

“It’s long overdue.”

“I know.”

“If it helps, I think he’s more hurt than angry.”

I didn’t know what to say. If Josiah never forgave me, it would be understandable.

“Tea’s ready. Come sit,” Mom called.

I continued to stare at the front door, renewed hatred for myself taking root. “I’m really sorry, Shay.”

“I know. If it helps, he’s a forgiving person. I don’t think he’ll hold it against you. You were friends once. He’s never let that go. Come on.”

Shay took my arm and guided me to the front room where my family was gathered.

Chapter Twenty

Windsor

In the light of a new day, I sat outside the station, psyching myself up to go inside. After the incident the night before, all my officers were present, including Lucas, who must have been dead on his feet.

I scanned the mountains in the distance one last time and got out of my Jeep. It was late morning on a Sunday. A quiet day in Jasper. A chilly wind blew across the parking lot, the leaves rustling in the trees. They would change color soon. Fall was in the air.

Church folks made up the bulk of early morning traffic, and by this time, the tower bells in the nearby Catholic Church were ringing. Service was over. Crowds would gather in the small diners and restaurants in town, enjoying meals with families.

Life went on. The world hadn’t cracked in half overnight. Doom hadn’t rained from the sky. Everything was the same on the surface. The only thing that was different was my perspective. The crisp breeze carried the scent of freedom. Freedom from the self-made prison where I’d lived my whole adult life.

With luck, we wouldn’t have too much to take care of today outside standard routine patrolling.

I entered the front doors of the squat beige brick building where I’d worked for many years and was met by silence. No one was at the front desk, and you could hear a pin drop. I keyed through the secure door to the back offices and wandered down the hall, poking