Concealed Hearts (Hometown Jasper #4) - Nicky James Page 0,5

us don’t talk. If we did, kids like Ben would come out of the woodwork, and a broken window would be nothing.” Felix shook his head. “No, the truth would be way worse, man. This… This is nothing.”

He pulled away and pushed through the doors to the office. Another thing I’d learned about teenagers, they could be cryptic as all hell.

I followed after him.

A secretary paged Nadine from her office. She came out and directed Felix inside. We had a quick word, and she apologized for jumping the gun and calling me in.

“When chairs start flying, you never know where it’s going to end.”

“I understand. Felix and I had a chat. He’s reluctant to say too much, but I get the sense there is a lot going on he’s unwilling to share. He made it sound like he was coming to the defense of another student. Is this something you’re aware of?”

Nadine’s puzzled expression told me no. We chatted a bit longer. I gave her a version of what Felix had shared, and she listened and assured me they’d handle it. She thanked me again for rushing over, and I was done.

I headed back to the station to write up a report. The whole drive, I tried to pick apart what Felix wasn’t saying. Sadly, he hadn’t offered much and seemed more than willing to take the fall. Kids like him worried me. I wondered where they would end up in the future and if they’d succeed.

* * *

I sent Matthew home at six. Technically, I wasn’t on call this evening, but I stayed behind after everyone cleared out to use my computer. I didn’t have one at home and was less than proficient at figuring out things on my cell phone. I wanted to email Tomi, but I didn’t want interruptions or an audience while I figured out what to write.

I drew up the personal email account I rarely used and selected the Compose option. The flashing blinker stared back at me, taunting me, asking what it was I wanted to say. I had no clue. At this point, I was convinced I’d lost my mind.

In over twenty years, I hadn’t thought twice about pursuing a man or a relationship. I’d shut that part of myself down, refusing to face it. As far as anyone in town knew, I was a lonely straight man who was married to his job. The meddling older women had fun trying to find me a wife, while the constables I worked with assumed I had no interest in love or marriage. And then there was Belinda with her casseroles and treats and kind words every time I went to the bakery.

Not one person knew the truth.

I’d been successful at shutting down all urges and needs for years until Tomi Lee returned to town last month and stirred things up I’d almost forgotten existed.

His presence had rattled me so thoroughly, I was now sitting in my office after hours, contemplating exposing my truth for the first time in over twenty years. It was a risk, but I had a hunch Tomi knew all too well what it was like keeping part of yourself hidden from the world.

While he’d been in town, I’d overheard things I wasn’t supposed to hear, which led me to believe the rumors that had circulated almost two decades ago about Tomi’s sexuality were based in truth. I had reason to believe Tomi was gay and as closeted as me, but figuring out what to do about it was a whole other issue.

We’d talked a few times while he was around. We’d shared a meal together one evening. In a few short visits, I felt an undeniable attraction toward him. Part of me was convinced it wasn’t one-sided, but then Tomi had escaped back to British Columbia without saying goodbye, and self-doubt had kicked in.

In the few weeks since he’d been gone, I’d been unable to let thoughts of him go.

Maybe if I opened the lines of communication, we could get to know each other better. More privately, and hopefully, on a different level.

Dear Tomi, I typed.

Too formal? I started again.

Tomi,

The cursor blinked as I made sentences in my head, unsure how to be forthcoming and not at the same time.

I was sad to discover you’d left town so abruptly. I enjoyed our conversations, and was hoping…

I deleted the second sentence, fearing it sounded too obvious or reaching. What if I was wrong about Tomi? What if I exposed myself and