Concealed Hearts (Hometown Jasper #4) - Nicky James Page 0,100
The past still hurt. I could see it reflecting in his eyes.
“Sure.” He glanced over his shoulder to the room he’d been in. “Give me… We can go upstairs. Hold on.”
He went inside the room and came out a minute later. After calling out to Jordie, letting him know he was stepping out, he took me to a back staircase.
His loft apartment was nice. A fluffy white cat came and wrapped around my legs, purring. “Hey, beautiful.” I bent and gave her attention. “What’s your name?”
Josiah wrinkled his nose. “Miss Ophelia Primrose. The Cat for short. Do you… I can make coffee?”
“Sure. Thank you.”
I gave his cat attention while he busied himself in the kitchen. When the coffee was ready, he let me fix it how I liked but didn’t invite me to sit down. He leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping from his mug, watching me closely as though trying to sort out the purpose of my visit.
I copied his lean on the opposite counter. “I owe you an apology. I know it’s long overdue and maybe too late, but either way, I want you to hear it.”
He held up a hand, stopping me. “Are you doing this because Shay told you too?”
“No. I’m doing this because I was an ass, and I want you to know I regret it. I could make a hundred excuses and tell you I was scared or blame it on being a stupid teenager, but it wouldn’t be fair. There is no excuse for what I did. I’m ashamed, and if you never accept my apology, I’ll understand. I can’t change the past. I can’t turn back time and take back all I did and all I said. All I can do is move forward and do my best to make up for my past mistakes.”
I glanced up, needing to see how he was reacting. Josiah’s jaw was tight, and his eyes showed the pain he’d held at bay for all these years. When his face blurred, I realized just how much I’d held back over the years too, not allowing myself to truly feel the impact of what I’d done until now.
“I’m so sorry, Josiah. I’m so, so sorry.” A stray tear fell, and I batted it away.
He nodded and ducked his chin so I couldn’t see his face. “I forgive you, but it still hurts.”
“I know.”
“What now?”
“I hope we can move forward. You’re dating my brother, which is pretty amazing.”
He laughed softly at that. “Amazing?”
“No, I didn’t think so at first, but I do now. You’re part of my family. I hope, in time, we can become friends again.”
“Maybe.”
We drank our coffees, leaning against the counter. The atmosphere shifted, and the tension slowly drained.
“So, Windsor, huh?” he said, a smile forming at the corner of his mouth. “How the hell did you…? I mean, he’s gay? Seriously? Tell me it’s a joke.”
“Not a joke.”
“Unbelievable. Many gay men have dreamed of converting him. And you of all people—”
“I didn’t convert him. He’s always been gay. I guess us closeted men just gravitate to each other.”
Josiah snorted. “Right. Well, I’m not jealous at all.”
“Right.”
We laughed. It was easier. There was hope for the future.
Josiah finally invited me to sit, and I told him about the job offer at the high school and moving back to Jasper. He was stunned but happy to hear I felt safe enough to finally come home.
* * *
I ended up returning to BC on the weekend. Felix had decided to stay indefinitely with Windsor since he wanted to finish his last year of high school in Jasper. He and Grant had plans to head to Edmonton for college the following year. It was a good stepping stone. A safe place where he could be himself and maybe learn something from a man he respected.
Felix understood I’d be moving in as well once I got everything squared away back in BC. He was excited to learn I’d be teaching at the high school but was disappointed to discover I wouldn’t be his math teacher since it was a conflict of interest. Nadine had encouraged a switch in Felix’s schedule.
Everything was falling into place. What surprised me the most was how small an impact our coming out truly made on the community. In my mind, I had anticipated a tsunami effect. In reality, we got a light breeze most people didn’t flinch at.
To think I’d spent so much time fretting and worrying over coming out. Windsor and I had both talked about it over drinks one night when Felix spent the evening at Grant’s.
By mid-September, we’d all settled into our new life and routines. Felix was coming out of his shell, and he and Windsor had begun taking some martial arts classes in the evening together. Windsor thought it would give Felix an outlet and teach him discipline and how to control his emotions. He was less shy about his relationship with Grant and invited him to visit frequently.
It was the Fall Fair Festival weekend, and we’d decided to all go together. The boys wanted to ride all the rides, and Windsor and I wanted to be out as a couple. Apart from one dinner together in town—courtesy of the police station’s office pool—we hadn’t gone out much as a couple.
It was a cool evening. We all bundled in coats and wool hats and headed for the fairgrounds. Live country music filled the air, and the smells of fried food and cotton candy made me inhale and groan. It had been a lot of years since I’d been to a town fair. There was laughter and loud squeals of joy all around as most of Jasper gathered for one of the more popular town events.
We lost Felix and Grant the moment Windsor paid entry fees and bought them ride tickets. They ran off together, hand in hand, and no longer afraid to be who they were.
I snagged Windsor’s hand and linked our fingers together too. He smiled and kissed me once, unashamed and uncaring what the world around us thought. “Are you warm enough?”
“I am. Want to walk around some?”
“Let’s go.”
After a slow tour of the fair, we ended up by the stage where the Fifty-Foursomes played. Windsor found an available picnic table and pulled me down beside him on the bench. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my temple. “This feels good.”
I leaned against him. It did feel good.
It was freeing, and I’d never felt more at home than I did right there in Jasper with the whole community surrounding us.
“I love you,” I said, peering up into hazel eyes I couldn’t get enough of.
His nose was pink from the cold, but his smile was warm. “I love you too.”
THE END
I could NOT end this series without giving Lucas and Matthew a little splash of attention. Get their FREE bonus scene HERE
Did you enjoying the Hometown Jasper Series?
If so you might enjoy my Trials of Fear series as well.
A little more angst but ALL of the heart.
Start with OWL’S SLUMBER TODAY
Can a complicated man like Finnley find someone to love him, broken and all?
Finnley’s life is a mess. Who’d want to date a mortician? Who’d want to date a guy with a phobia so crippling he couldn’t enter his bedroom at night? His problems are impossible to hide. One night stands are all he can afford. If anyone learned of his ridiculous issues, they’d never understand.
Until Aven lands on his doorstep, boldly asking for a date, clearly seeking more.
But if Finnley can’t open up about his past and his struggles, will Aven decide he’s too much and walk away? Or will he provide the strength and support Finnley’s been looking for to finally admit he needs help?
ALSO IN AUDIO
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Other Titles by Nicky James
Audio Books
Love Me Whole
Owl’s Slumber
No Regrets
New Beginnings
Standalone Contemporary
Trusting Tanner
Twinkle Star
Love Me Whole (available in audio)
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The Christmas I Know
Long Way Home
The Devil Inside
Hometown Jasper
Clashing Hearts
Confused Hearts
Forgetful Hearts
Concealed Hearts
Death Row Chronicles
Inside
Outside
Trials of Fear
Owl’s Slumber (available in audio)
Shades of Darkness
Touch of Love
Fearless
Lost in a Moment
Cravings of the Heart
Heal With You
A Very Merry Krewmas (Trials of Fear Special)
Fear Niblets
Rigger’s Decision
Slater’s Silence
Healing Hearts Series
No Regrets (available in audio)
New Beginnings: Abel’s Journey (available in audio)
The Escape: Soren’s Saga
Lost Soul: AJ’s Burden
Taboo
Sinfully Mine
Secrets & Lies
End Scene
Historical
Until the End of Time
Steel My Heart
Tales from Edovia Series
Something from Nothing
Buried Truths
Secrets Best Untold