The Complete Quake Series Boxset - Jacob Chance Page 0,36

can forget how lonely my bed seems without her here—how empty my life feels without her in it. I’ve texted her every single day and she never replies. I know she doesn’t care to talk to me right now, I don’t blame her, but if I don’t talk to her how can I fix this? I’m trying to give her space, but it’s so fucking hard to stay away from her. I’m tempted to go over to her apartment and demand she talk to me, but I’m afraid she’s already made up her mind and we’re through for good. If I don’t see her I can pretend I stand a chance of being with her again

I’m convinced I’ve hit rock bottom as I sit here outside the building where Janny has class right now. I’m parked curbside in one of K.D. Investigations stakeout cars so she won’t recognize me and I’m wearing a ball cap pulled low on my brow, along with shades. I’ve now resorted to actual stalking, how far I’ve fallen in such a short period of time.

Jesus.

I shake my head at what I’m doing right now, but I’m not disgusted with myself enough to drive away without at least a brief glimpse of her. I’ve gone five days without seeing her and I can’t go any longer. I need to know she’s okay. Getting my eyes on her will hopefully soothe this horrible ache in my chest or at the very least lessen it.

Students start to filter out the main doors of the building as I glance at my watch to check the time. I search through the crowd for Janny, but I don’t see her at first. I diligently keep watching, afraid I’ll miss her if I take my eyes off the doorway for a single second. Once the crowd dies down she exits the building smiling and looking over her shoulder at someone behind her.

Fuck, no.

Janny is with her ex-boyfriend, Josh. While they walk down the sidewalk toward me, I notice Josh’s arm is around her shoulder and she’s smiling up at him like she used to smile up at me.

Goddammit.

I start the car, throw it into drive and barely look before I pull out onto the busy street. When I pass by them I keep my eyes focused straight ahead on the road in front of me, not capable of dealing with the realization I’ve lost her for good.

I sit here on my couch hours later and quickly finish off this bottle of Jameson. The burning ache in my chest is still present. I thought I could numb it with alcohol, but I don’t think anything will ever take it away. I’ll be dealing with this pain for the rest of my life as a permanent reminder of the hole Janny Moore left in my heart. I’m such a dumb fuck for ever thinking I could be with someone like her. I should’ve kept my distance. How rich is it that I always tell people to listen to their instincts, they won’t steer them wrong? I guess I should’ve taken my own advice because this fucking sucks.

Chapter Thirteen

Janny

I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I miss you.

Kyle began texting me the night of our breakup and he’s continued to send me messages each of the five days since. I didn’t look at any of them until now. I never should’ve let down my walls with him, what was I thinking? I knew he was trouble from the start, I just convinced myself to give him a chance and now I’m miserable without him. I hate Kyle for making me fall in love with him. Why didn’t I do a better job protecting my heart?

There are only a couple of weeks of my senior year left and I’ve made the decision to focus on doing the best I can on all my finals. At this moment, I’m at the library making a study guide for my psychology class. Now that I’m not spending so much time with Kyle there’s lots of free time to devote to school. Getting good grades used to be the thing I cared the most about, but not anymore. No matter how angry I am or how much I tell myself I need to forget about Kyle, I can’t seem to stop missing him. I wish I could despise him; it would make getting over him so much easier.

I’ve also been spending more time with Elle and Josh. They’ve been trying to distract

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