hair billows around her making a soft pillow. Her eyes are closed and her furrowed brow has me wondering if our proximity bothers her. Is she lost in similar thoughts about me? Does she wonder what could be if we only gave in to the urge to be together and opened ourselves to the possibilities? I don’t often let myself muse over what ifs or what could have been. Life is what we make of it here and now - in the present moments. Looking at Elle, sitting beside me, I’m unequivocally sure she’s not a second choice or a stand in for anyone.
She’s the only choice.
Reaching my hand out, I touch her arm and let my fingers move up and down her bare skin in a slow caress. Her eyes flash open and lock on mine with surprise. “Don’t worry, Janny and the baby are going to be fine,” I tell her, reassuringly.
She nods and her lips move into a small close-mouthed smile. She remains silent, but her eyes appear glassy with tears.
Sliding my hand down to her forearm, I gently pull until she uncrosses her arms. I take her hand in mine, giving a slight squeeze to her fingers. When I rest our connected hands on my thigh, my thumb slowly rubs over her smooth skin, reassuringly.
Both of us remain silent. Neither wanting to be the one to end this peaceful truce we’ve found through our simple connection.
I’m not sure how much time passes as we sit there contentedly enjoying one another’s company. We don’t need words to converse. Words only muddle things for us. If only we could live in a silent world speaking through actions. Our bodies certainly know how to communicate. Remembering how perfect she felt in my arms, how sweet she tasted on my lips is detrimental to my sanity. Don’t think about it.
“Guys,” Kyle’s deep voice calls out.
My eyes snap open and I notice him standing in front of us, smiling from ear to ear.
Elle leans forward, slipping her hand from mine and literally waits on the edge of her seat for what he’s about to tell us.
Rubbing both hands over my face, I sit up. “How’s Janny?” I ask. My concern for my best friend is at the forefront of my mind.
“They’re both great,” he answers with a grin. “Congratulations, you guys now have a niece, Lily. She’s perfect, like her mom.”
Elle shrieks excitedly. I jump to my feet, shaking his hand and pull him in for a hug. “Congratulations, man. I’m relieved it all went well.” I step back as Elle launches herself into Kyle’s arms.
“Congratulations, daddy. I can’t believe I’m an auntie. I love the name Lily; it’s perfect.” The two of them part and Kyle still has a grin plastered on his face. I don’t think he’ll be losing it any time soon.
“I need to get back to the room. I told Janny I’d come out and update you guys. If you want to wait around a little while you should be able to see them. Or you can come back later.”
Glancing at the round clock on the wall, I notice the time. “I’m going to cut out of here soon, but I’ll be back tonight or tomorrow at the latest. I have a few tattoos scheduled so I need to head to the studio.” Patting the front pockets on my faded jeans, I find Janny’s keys and pull them out. “Here, I forgot to give these to you earlier.”
“Yeah, my mind was definitely on other things. Are you sure you don’t need her car?”
“I already made arrangements for a ride. I can drop it off at your house tomorrow if you need me to.”
He takes the keys from me, pocketing them. “Thanks, I might take you up on your offer. I’m gonna get back to my girls.” He flashes us a blinding white grin.
“Please congratulate Janny for me and tell her I’ll visit as soon as I can.”
“Will do, man.” We bump fists.
“I’m staying. There’s no way I’m leaving before I see my niece,” Elle informs him with a wink. “Come grab me, when it’s okay for me to visit.”
“I’ll do that.” He spins around, hurrying back to his family. My chest tightens with happiness for them and if I’m honest with myself I can admit there’s some feelings of envy intermixed too. He has what I want...someday.
Elle slams into my chest, surprising me. Her thin arms wrap around my back and mine do the same without conscious
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