Companion 3000 - Evangeline Anderson Page 0,43
ruthless space pirate and his innocent victim”, “Mister Horny the stern office manager and his naughty secretary that needs a spanking”, and “Mistress Leita the female gym instructor teaches her star athlete, Horny, a lesson with the paddle” among dozens of other suggestions and variations. She was beginning to wonder how many bizarre and twisted scenarios Horny was programmed to come up with—whoever had written his code must have been a true pervert.
Of course, there was no way Leita was actually going to tell her new Companion what she did fantasize about. Her encounter with Pierce was too fresh in her mind—it had barely been a month since she’d sent him away at tazer-point and the pain hadn’t faded yet, if it ever would. And besides, she had no urge whatsoever to have sex with Horny. Even if she had, she was pretty sure if she let him tie her up he would screw her to death in a matter of hours. So she and Schneider continued to dodge her new Companion, leaving Horny to vent his sexual frustration on the household appliances and furniture. Recently he seemed to have fallen in love with her worn but comfortable synthi-suede sofa. It was too bad because he had poked several holes in its sides and Leita was fairly certain she would never be able to get the stains off the rest of it. At least when he’d been sexing up the vacuum, the evidence of his love had been sucked out into space instead of remaining to make her life miserable.
“I have got to get out of here,” she told Schneider again. “The Galleria ship is passing close enough to our orbit to make a trip worth it. I’m going to go and get some supplies—we’re running low on a lot of things.”
“And leave me alone here with ‘Dick-boy the brainless wonder’?” Schneider demanded incredulously. “I don’t think so, Leita. He’ll turn me inside out if he gets half a chance.”
“No he won’t—just tell him your hottest sexual fantasy is to watch him hump the sofa some more and he’ll leave you alone,” Leita said.
“I still don’t like it,” Schneider grumped. “He looks at me the way you used to look at your favorite dildo before…well, before,” he ended lamely.
Leita closed her eyes briefly, trying to push back the pain. She knew Schneider had been about to say “before Pierce came” and had stopped himself at the last moment. Damn it—she ought to be over this by now.
“Look, Schneider,” she said, “You don’t like crowds and shopping which is what the Galleria is all about. And somebody has to stay in case the drone ship comes back to pick up Horny while I’m gone. The sooner we get rid of him the better, don’t you think?” She had sent a message via her web mail to For Her Pleasure, asking them to come pick up the defective Companion over a week ago. She still wasn’t sure if she would get a refund yet but at this point she really didn’t care—she just wanted Horny out of her life.
“All right, you’re right.” Schneider groomed his sleek tan fur morosely. “I just don’t like being left alone with that thing. I thought Pierce was bad but at least he didn’t hump holes in the furniture.”
Leita pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger to drive back the stress headache that was hovering behind her eyes like a dark cloud. “Yeah, Pierce was a real prince of a guy. Helped around the life pod, cooked, fixed the ships in the mech bay. If only he hadn’t been a complete liar and an opportunistic bastard, he would’ve been the perfect man.”
Schneider put a small black-furred hand on her knee. “I’m sorry, Leita. I shouldn’t have brought him up.”
“No, it’s all right.” She sighed. “I’ll get over him eventually.”
“I hope so,” Schneider said. “I wish you weren’t going to the Galleria alone, though, Leita. I know everything looks bright and shiny there, but you still have to be careful.”
Leita patted his tiny hand. “I’ll wear my watch-me bracelet just in case so we’ll never really be out of contact. Okay? And in the meantime, I just hope we get rid of Horny soon. Like while we still have any furniture left.” A loud thumping climax from the other room complete with cries of passion from the Companion 2000 served to emphasize her point. Leita shook her head. She had never been so glad