Common Goal (Game Changers #4)- Rachel Reid Page 0,46

up like Quinn. If yoga, sleep, and eating clean even gave him a chance of avoiding that, he would keep it up.

This was the fourth practice in a row that Eric had planned to tell his coaches that he would be retiring after this season. It would be so easy to ask Quinn, right now, to assemble the coaches so Eric could tell them. But he couldn’t bring himself to form the words. The truth was, he was scared. Once he announced it, it would be real. No matter how sure he was in his heart that this was the right decision, he wasn’t ready for it to be real.

His brain was so cluttered today. His fear of walking away from hockey warred with his fear of his desire for Kyle. These thoughts swirled with the stress of his poor performance in today’s practice, the exhilaration of finally exploring his sexuality, and the terrifying uncertainty his future held.

He really needed a nap.

He decided, after he’d showered and dressed, to walk from the arena to his house. He hoped the fresh air and the additional exercise would help to clear his head. As he walked, he tried to think reasonably about what Kyle had suggested. He unpacked the facts and laid them out neatly in his mind.

The first was that he liked Kyle, was attracted to him, and it seemed that the attraction was mutual. The second fact was that Kyle seemed to have a very uncomplicated relationship with sex and had offered to have sex with Eric. The third fact was that Eric was nervous about having sex with a man. Or with anyone, really. It had only been Holly since he’d been a teenager, and it hadn’t been very often during their last few years together. The fourth fact was he couldn’t really imagine hooking up with a stranger. It just didn’t appeal to him. In fact, it kind of repulsed him.

Fact number five: the idea of sex with Kyle did not repulse him. At all.

Eric sorted through these facts for his entire walk home. He examined each one, shuffling them around like cards and hoping a clear course of action would appear. The thing he kept getting stuck on was that he wasn’t sure what it meant, that he wanted to have sex with Kyle. He knew it was a simple logic problem: Eric Bennett only likes having sex with people he has feelings for. Eric Bennett wants to have sex with Kyle. Therefore...

And that right there was why he couldn’t have sex with Kyle.

Unless he could.

Fucking hell.

When Eric got home, he ran straight up to his room and collapsed on his bed. It was so soft and wonderful.

And lonely.

Eventually, when he felt like moving again, he slipped out of his clothes and settled himself under the blankets. When he closed his eyes he remembered every detail of kissing Kyle last night. The heat of Kyle’s tongue, and the cool press of his fingers where they’d touched Eric’s jaw. The sweet way he’d laughed when Eric had greedily leaned in for more.

Eric blushed. Was Kyle thinking about that kiss as much as he was? Probably not.

His skin felt hot everywhere, and he kicked off the blankets. Normally, jerking off was not a daily event for him, but his hand found its way to his cock and started his usual routine of quick, hard pumps. He came quickly, as always, catching his release in his hand.

As he was washing up in the bathroom a few minutes later, he wondered what it might be like for sex to be something that he wasn’t just trying to get over with. For sexual release to not merely be maintenance he provided to his body, like getting a massage, or stretching. He’d never been adventurous in bed, and he’d never deliberately drawn out his jerk-off sessions. He focused on achieving orgasm, and the way his body responded to the release of tension.

He had no doubts that Kyle could teach him exactly how good sex could feel. His imagination had been shocking him lately with detailed fantasies of Kyle teasing and slowly drawing orgasms out of him. That morning, when he’d been making breakfast, he’d become thoroughly distracted by a daydream that was so vivid he could practically feel Kyle’s caresses. And that was after the memories of last night’s kiss had compelled him to bring himself off in the shower. He’d imagined filthy, coaxing words in Kyle’s light, playful voice as he’d stroked