“It must be. For you to be out here, pulling stunts like this to help us, that means I’m not doing enough.”
“But you are.” My voice cracks. “You and Trey try so hard. I just wanted to make things easier. But I’m making it worse for myself. People are saying all kinds of stuff about me after that interview.”
Jay takes a deep breath. “Hype got you, huh?” She’s gentle again.
“Unfortunately. I acted a fool. Supreme’s eating it up though. The record exec, too. They think it’s great that people think I’m a ‘ratchet hood rat.’ Supreme calls it a ‘role.’”
“I’m not surprised. Supreme’s always been money hungry. That’s where he and your daddy clashed. Let me guess, he baited you, didn’t he? Threw something expensive at you so you’d wanna hire him.”
I stare at the boots. “Yep. He bought me these Timbs.”
“Wait, those aren’t the boots I bought you from the swap meet?”
“No. Those came apart.”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”
I fumble with my fingers. “Because I didn’t want you to feel bad. Like you probably do right now.”
She sighs. “Lord. You should’ve told me, Bri. You should’ve told me all of this. I could’ve kept you out of so much mess. Instead, you lied to me.”
“Wait, I didn’t lie.”
“Omitting the truth is lying, Bri,” she says. “Plus, at some point, you flat-out lied. You’ve been sneaking around to meet with Supreme. That requires a lie.”
Damn, she’s right. “I’m sorry.”
Jay kisses her teeth. “Oh, I’m sure you are. Especially since this is about to come to a halt. All of this li’l rap stuff of yours? It’s over.”
“What? No! This could be my shot at making it.”
“Didn’t you just say that people are making assumptions about you?” she asks. “You wanna keep going, knowing that?”
“I just wanna make it!”
I’m loud, I’m rough. But I’m also desperate.
Feels like hours pass as my mom quietly stares at me.
“Brianna,” she says, “do you know what your aunt’s biggest problem is?”
I look at the jailhouse. That’s kinda obvious at the moment. “She’s locked up.”
“No. That’s not even her biggest problem,” says Jay. “Pooh doesn’t know who she is, and by not knowing who she is, she doesn’t know her worth. So, who are you?”
“What?”
“Who are you?” she repeats. “Of the millions and billions of people in the world, you’re the only person who can answer that. Not people online or at your school. I can’t even answer that. I can say who I think you are.” She cups my cheek. “And I think you’re brilliant, talented, courageous, beautiful. You’re my miracle. But you’re the only one who can say who you are with authority. So, who are you?”
“I’m . . .”
I can’t find the words.
My mom leans over and kisses my forehead. “Work on figuring it out. I think it’ll give you more answers than you realize.”
She cranks up the Jeep. Before she can back out of the parking spot, her phone rings.
“Baby, get that for me, please?”
“Okay,” I say, and fish through her purse. It takes a second—my mom keeps her purse full of “just in case” stuff, like Kleenex, gum, a pocketknife. She’s ready for whatever.
I grab her phone, but I don’t recognize the number. “I don’t know who this is.”
“Answer it like you’ve got some sense then.”
I roll my eyes. I know what she means—talk all “proper,” but damn, act “like I have some sense” makes it seem as if I have none. “Hello?”
“Hi. Is Mrs. Jayda Jackson available?” a man asks.
That voice is familiar. I think. It could be a bill collector for all I know, and they always get the dial tone. “May I ask who’s calling?”
“Yes, this is Superintendent Cook.”
The phone falls from my hand.
“Brianna!” Jay scolds through her teeth. “I know damn well you didn’t drop my phone! Give it here!”
I scoop it up from the floor.
She snatches it. “Hello? Who is this?”
Dr. Cook responds, and the car slightly swerves. She almost dropped the phone, too.
“I’m so sorry, Dr. Cook,” Jay says, and cuts me a glare. “My daughter can be reckless.”
Why she gotta throw me under the bus though?
Dr. Cook starts talking, and my mom pulls over to the side of the road. I can’t make out what he’s saying for the life of me. Jay just goes, “Uh-huh, yes, sir,” over and over again.
“Well?” I whisper, but she swats in my direction to shut me up.
After an eternity she says, “Thank you so much, sir. I will see you