The Colonel's Spinster - Audrey Harrison Page 0,14

and we repay them by forcing them to beg and be out of work? It’s a disgrace!” Fitzwilliam looked angry, standing and walking to the decanter. His shoulders stiff, he poured himself a large brandy and took a swig. “No one who willingly went onto those battlefields should have to work another day, let alone beg for their existence. No one in these fine houses understands what it was like. What it was really like.”

He had not turned back to Prudence, but she moved over to him, placing her arm gently on his. He tensed under her touch but didn’t pull away.

“I agree completely. We have organisations that try to help. I’m involved with some of them. We do what we can, but I know it is not enough.”

“You are very good to give up your time.”

“It is the least I can do. I’m sorry to have upset you. I go blundering in without thinking. Now you can see why I am such a lost cause in my father’s eyes,” Prudence said with a slight smile, but she rubbed her hand gently along his arm.

Fitzwilliam looked down at her. She was smaller than he, but only just. She had struck him from the first moment he had met her as a capable woman. To see compassion and understanding in her eyes was even more compelling. He rarely spoke to anyone about his experiences.

“I sent so many to their deaths,” he said quietly.

“No. Napoleon did that. You sent men to defend our country, and the other countries of Europe, from a tyrant.”

“It didn’t feel like that then, or now. I know the names of every single man who was injured in my regiment or who didn’t come back.”

Prudence rested her head on Fitzwilliam’s shoulder in an act of empathy. “It is to your credit that you do so,” she said.

“I sometimes feel guilty that I survived. I mean who would miss me if I had not returned? A handful of people perhaps, but there were men with children and wives who were lost on the battlefield. That does not seem fair.”

Feeling a chill at his words, Prudence kept her voice calm. “Everyone is important. It is wrong to put one person above another.”

“Perhaps. It is just that when I look back ― oh you’ve caught me in a maudlin mood!” Fitzwilliam laughed. He bent down slightly and kissed the top of Prudence’s head affectionately before moving away from her.

Prudence moved back to her seat, accepting his change of tone, not interpreting the kiss as anything other than a show of part affection, part apology for his more serious mood. She felt sorry that he was the one always seen as the jovial one when it was clear to her that he suffered, and his words had confirmed that.

“Were you looking to read? Or were you just seeking an escape?” Prudence asked, changing the subject.

Fitzwilliam grinned. “An escape. Could you not see the hunted expression I wore when I entered?”

“Aunt Catherine could have followed you in here, and we both would have been caught.”

“Better to have a partner in crime than to face her wrath alone.”

“Coward.”

“Completely, when my aunt is involved. Shall we take a turn around the gardens?”

“We risk being caught if we enter the hallway,” Prudence pointed out.

“But not if we escape through the window,” Fitzwilliam said, moving over to one of the three full-length windows in the library. Unhooking the catch, he swung the door open. “Ready for a real escape, Cousin?”

“You are incorrigible,” Prudence said, but the book was forgotten as she walked towards Fitzwilliam.

Offering his hand, he held tight until she’d stepped into the open. “Are you warm enough?” he asked. “I should have contrived a way of obtaining at least a shawl for you.”

Prudence shook her head in the negative. “No. You forget I live in the north. It is positively balmy here.”

“I think you fun with us much of the time,” Fitzwilliam said. “I hardly know when to take you seriously about your life back home. My instinct is to think most of the time you are bamboozling us.”

“I do not! I have every respect for all my new relations and would not tease you so.” Prudence defended herself, but her smile was mischievous.

“And that comment is a prime example of what I mean! You are a minx, but beware! For I am on to you.”

Prudence laughed. “You, sir, are a rogue.”

“And you, dear Cousin, are quite possibly the most intriguing woman I have ever