Somewhere around 3:15, my bleary eyes felt like I’d been blowing smoke in them for days. I’d have to be up soon to prep the store for the morning commuters. I thought of an hourlong nap but turned back to my computer with a jaw-popping yawn. Only a few procedures away from finishing.
It would be a yoga pants and comfy bra kind of day.
The feeling of a heavy hand on my shoulder startled me from a dream. Dancing coffee beans had been trying to throw broken pieces of a coffee mug at me. They’d laughed whenever I fought back, and then turned into money. The moment I’d touched the money, it disappeared.
“Bethany?”
Groggy, I straightened.
Dim, overhead lights felt painfully bright to my eyes. Those definitely weren’t my attic bedroom lights. Understanding dawned slowly. I’d fallen asleep working at my computer. I jerked fully awake with a gasp.
“Whoa there,” came a deep rumble. “Everything okay?”
Maverick crouched next to the table. The world was still dark, the shop quiet. A faint blush lingered on the distant horizon. The clock said 4:15. It would be full light soon enough, and I was already fifteen minutes late for prepping.
“Fine.” My voice croaked. “I’m . . . I’m fine.”
The puzzle pieces slowly slid together. Vaguely, I remembered a long, long blink that must have turned into a nap.
Maverick slipped into the chair next to me, one arm across the back of my chair. He wore a metal running leg. Sweat glistened in a light sheen over his face and neck. I forced myself to look away, assaulted by butterflies. The man looked like a Viking god without eyes brightened by a run. Now he was otherworldly.
He motioned toward my laptop with a wry tilt of his head.
“Working late or up early?”
I pushed the hair out of my eyes. “Both.”
My thoughts lay heavy and sluggish. It would be a bear of a day trying to stay awake.
He put a hand on the back of my neck. The comforting warmth sent an electric zip under my skin, melting me into a puddle. I turned to face him. All the hours of caffeine, fueled by desperation, crashed around me. I’d finished a hard thing.
But now the terror had settled in.
“Mav,” I whispered. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
His inquisitive expression softened.
“It’s going to be all right, Bethany. Everything will get done. We’ll turn this place around so you have profit and can pay your debts at the same time.”
“It’s so much.”
“You’re not just talking about the shop.”
“No. It’s more than just the shop. Of course, I’ll throw my all into saving the girls from their father. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove they belong here. But then what? Then I have to mother them. I have to be something I’m not. Something I’ve never seen before. Mama . . . she tried, but . . . she couldn’t. At least not well.” A half-sob choked me. “She messed all of us up. What if I do the same thing?”
Until I’d spoken the words, I’d had no idea the fears were even there. They’d been dammed back by my determination to finish this stupid manual. I buried my face in my hands.
“Sounds like you had a tough relationship with her,” he murmured. He hadn’t moved his hand off my neck, and I was glad. It centered me. No makeup. Hopped up on caffeine and drowning in sweats. He was a saint for not running as far as his prosthetic would take him.
“Mama and I were . . . complicated.”
Maverick’s expression softened. His breathing evened out. He waited, gaze soft with curiosity when I let my hands fall. His thumb rubbed a circle on my skin, setting it aflame.
“My parents divorced when I was seven. I lived with Mama at first, but mostly because she filed while he was on a deployment. She took me and ran without a word.”
He winced. I bit my bottom lip, grounded by the pressure, and silently agreed. It had been a cowardly thing to do. Their marriage hadn’t been abusive or lackluster. Dad had tried hard, but Mama had itchy feet. She’d never really thought she’d stay when she married him, but she wanted to see if she had it in her.
She didn’t.
“Life with her was just . . . too unstable. She flailed around, trying to figure out what was next. Find something. Her emotions swung on a pendulum. We