The Code for Love and Heartbreak - Jillian Cantor Page 0,71

to speed. I play it about half tempo, but when I’m finished, there’s an enthusiastic round of applause from my small audience.

“How was your Christmas, Emma?” Mrs. Bates walks over and asks me as I’m gathering up my things to leave.

“It was nice,” I say. “My older sister’s home from college for a few weeks. How was yours? And where’s Mr. Bates today?”

Her face falls as soon as I mention Mr. Bates, and her eyes well with tears. And then I know I’ve said the wrong thing, again. “He’s been under the weather. First the flu right after Thanksgiving, and now he has pneumonia. He’s been in the hospital since the day after Christmas.” Her voice breaks, and she stops talking, shakes her head, like for a minute she doesn’t have the words to continue. “I want to stay there with him around the clock, but I can’t. My kids tell me I’m too old for that.” She grimaces, like she doesn’t agree. “But I don’t even drive anymore, so I have to count on the nice van driver here to take me over to the hospital every morning during ICU visiting hours.”

“Oh, I didn’t know he was sick,” I say. If I had, I certainly wouldn’t have brought it up, like this. I can’t imagine having to go to the hospital every day for weeks and having to worry about the person you love being there. I feel terrible for her. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know, honey.” She grabs my hand and pats it gently. “He hasn’t been himself these past few years, but at least he was still right here with me every day. I’ve loved that man since I was nineteen years old, and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to exist without him.”

“I’m sure he’ll get better soon and he’ll be back here with you.” But even as I say it, I’m not sure, and I can’t stop my voice from faltering a little. He’s old, and being in the ICU doesn’t sound great.

“I hope you’re right, Emma,” she says. “I hope you’re right.”

* * *

I’m quiet back in the car with Izzy. She’s telling me how she went and got her nails done today, and I know she’s wanting me to compliment her on the color, a bright sparkly purple. But I’m still thinking about poor Mrs. Bates. What would it be like to live almost your entire life loving the same person, and then reach eighty-six years old and not even know how to be apart? I always thought Mr. Bates was a burden to her. I assumed she was stuck in the Villages with him, when she could’ve been off still doing something exciting with her life. But after talking with her today, I don’t know that I ever really understood her at all.

“Em,” Iz is saying. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Your nails,” I murmur. “They look great.”

She frowns. “No, I was talking about dinner tonight. We should stop at the store and get something healthy to make for Dad, now that he’s back working so hard. We have to make sure he’s still eating well. You’ll need to do that when I’m back in LA, too...” Her voice trails off, like maybe she’s asking a question or she’s feeling unsure I can handle it.

“Of course,” I say. “You don’t have to worry. I’ll make sure Dad eats healthy when you’re gone.”

But I close my eyes for a minute, and I think about Mrs. Bates, and then about Dad, and how he loved Mom once for her eyes, and how he lost her when they were still so young. And how next year, when Izzy and I are both gone, Dad will still be here, really and truly all alone. Will he even know how to exist anymore without us?

Chapter 25

“I had an idea,” George says on Friday after school, the first meeting of coding club since the winter break. My mind is only partly here, as mostly I’m thinking about the fact that Izzy goes back to California tomorrow, and how quiet the house is going to be again without her. And how I’ll miss her, but also, it might be nice to get my life back again, the way it was last fall. And my car. Getting my car back will be nice, too.

“We have about six weeks until states.” George is still talking. “And when I looked at the calendar, I realized the competition is right before the

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