The Code for Love and Heartbreak - Jillian Cantor Page 0,59
see the score sheets and figure out how to proceed. My heart pounds wildly in my chest as we walk into the room after school and she waves the score sheets in the air. “Second place,” Ms. Taylor says, smiling.
Second. I feel my face fall; my stomach drops a little.
“Not bad,” George says, his voice calm, even, and I glance at him. He’s not smiling or frowning, just looking normal, like George. He catches my eye and shrugs a little and it makes me think that, inside, we’re both feeling the same way.
It’s fine. We still advance to the state competition in February. But I can’t help but feel disappointed. Last year we came in first in the region, and I always thought during my senior year—my co-presidency—that we would be first, too. This also means we have a lot of work to do in the next few months if we want to have any chance at winning states and advancing to nationals.
“It looks like what you got marked down for is the fact that it’s a user-driven app, but you didn’t actually have any user data to present yet,” Ms. Taylor is saying, looking through the score sheets, then passing them around for us all to see. “So—” she’s still talking “—we have three weeks until Christmas break. Let’s get our app on as many students’ phones between now and then as we can. Then, after break, we can begin to track that data.”
* * *
We leave after a short meeting, and Jane is offering to drive Sam home as we all walk out and I’m watching the two of them, so I almost walk right into Ben. He’s standing in the hallway, just outside the door, waiting for Robert. It’s the first time I’ve seen him in person, but he looks almost exactly like he did in his yearbook photo.
“Hey,” he says to Robert, touching him lightly on the arm. “How’d you guys do?”
“Second place,” Robert says. “Not bad, right?” He looks to me for confirmation.
“Well...we did...fine.” I can’t keep the edge of disappointment from my tone.
“We did great,” George interjects, managing to sound more positive than I do, though I would guess deep down he’s disappointed, too. “But, we still have a lot of work to do before states.”
Ben smiles at Robert, revealing slightly crooked front teeth that weren’t visible in his yearbook photo, but it makes his smile kind of more endearing in person. “I thought you might need a ride home,” Ben says to Robert.
Robert nods, and waves goodbye to us, and the two of them walk off together toward the parking lot.
“Okay,” Jane says, turning to me. “You know I was skeptical of this whole app at first. I mean, I’m a cynic who doesn’t really believe in love. I have to admit, though, it’s kinda cool now to see that we’re making people happy.”
And I know I should be thrilled that Jane is pretty much apologizing, but instead I’m distracted by Hannah, who is laughing as George whispers something in her ear, and I hate the feeling that they are sharing some private joke, without me. So all I feel instead is this weird twisting feeling in my stomach.
“Love is still the worst,” I say quietly to Jane.
“Oh, yeah,” she quickly agrees. “The worst.”
Chapter 21
The week before school is out on Christmas break, Izzy flies home from California on the red-eye. She walks through the front door of our house while I’m eating breakfast before school, as if she’d never even left.
“Em!” she squeals, and runs into the kitchen to grab me in a hug. I hug her back, hold on to her tightly. She feels like a stranger and a memory all at once. She pulls out of the hug first. “Look at you!” She tugs on the end of my ponytail, frowns, puts her hands on the sleeves of my sweatshirt. “This is what you’re wearing to school today?”
“I’ve survived the last 122 days without your fashion advice,” I say pointedly. “Yes, this is exactly what I’m wearing to school.”
“Oh my goodness, Iz.” Dad walks in, lugging her giant suitcase behind him. He wipes sweat from his brow. “You’re only home for three weeks. And you still have half a closet full of clothes upstairs. How much could you possibly need?”
Izzy goes and kisses him on the cheek. “I told you I could carry that in, Dad. Aren’t you supposed to be taking it easy?”