Cocky Notes - Leesa Bow Page 0,74
and an oversized mountain dog. I glance over to the yapping Chihuahua and want to yell, run.
Beyond the dogs, big and small, and owners chatting with other owners, I search for Macy. She sits on a bench, her long, dark hair is blowing around her face, and she’s smiling as though she’s enjoying my bewilderment. She’s wearing a blue maxi dress and flip-flops—simple and stunning. Admittedly, she could wear any old thing, and in my eyes, still look like a million dollars.
I make my way to her. “Macy.” I take a seat beside her. “Why here?”
Her eyes light up with her smile. “I love sitting at dog parks and watching the owners interact with their pets. With freedom, they never do as instructed. I find it refreshing.”
A middle-aged guy throws a ball and points to the kelpie to fetch it. The dog takes off and runs off-course over to a border collie chasing another ball. I quietly chuckle. “I see what you mean.”
“You’re not really dressed for it, though.” She glances down to my shirt and leather enclosed dress shoes. “Don’t cuddle anything in your white shirt.”
“I have no intention of cuddling anything with fur.”
“You don’t like dogs?”
The border collie before us sprints for a ball, tongue hanging sideways flapping with each bound. “It’s not a matter of not liking dogs.”
“So, you don’t want one? Come on, puppies are so cute.”
“I don’t have time for one. Where are you going with this? Do you want one?”
She smiles at me, and it’s the smile of a person who’s baiting someone. “The owners look so happy, don’t you think?”
I shrug. “I guess so.”
“Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on having a puppy. Something to love and love me back. A bundle of joy to cuddle.” She wraps her arms around her middle, and damn, I want to put my arm around her shoulder and be the one to give her the love she deserves.
“Fine. Which one do you want?”
Looks like I took the bait and gave the wrong answer because she’s up off the seat and walking toward the gate. “I don’t want a puppy, Reef,” she says over her shoulder.
Springing to my feet, I follow her. “Mace, I don’t know what’s going on here?”
I keep up with her as we cross a busy road and take another path to the parklands on the other side. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
We keep walking. She leads me into the Japanese gardens, and here she slows to meander the path past finely clipped shrubs, cascading waterfalls, and a restful Zen rockery. Further along, she leads me to another seat opposite a pond. A duck and ducklings waddle past before, one by one, plopping into the water.
“Aren’t they cute,” she says and smiles.
“Yeah, but I don’t want one.”
“Neither do I,” she says in a softer voice. Macy lifts her dress so she can move her legs and face me. “It’s my point, Reef. They are cute, but I don’t want one. People with puppies look happy, and sure I love them. I doubt I’ll ever want one, though. I like to cuddle them and give them back. The owners look happy. Do I feel like I’m missing out? No.”
It dawns on me where she’s leading the conversation. “It’s not the same.”
“It is. I don’t even know if I want kids.”
I run my hands down my cheeks. “I haven’t forgotten you telling me you did, besides you’re too young to make a decision as big as this when you have options.”
“You think I’m too young? That I haven’t thought it through?”
I let out a sigh. “I’m not telling you what you want, I’m giving you an easy way out.”
“Do you want out?”
My chest is so fucking tight it wants to burst. “It’s not about wanting out. It’s about a future with me. And it might be one without children, and living in a city not with your father.”
She dips her chin, and I’m not for rubbing salt into a wound, but I need to get a point across. “You couldn’t even give me a night away from your dad.”
“Everything’s changed. He doesn’t need me as he did, and you’ve opened my eyes. I might have been so bloody angry with you to start with because you ripped out my heart and stomped on it, but then…” she jabs her thumb toward her chest, “… I was big enough to look past the hurt.”
“I’m trying not to hurt you. Fuck! I want you. Want you bad.”