wanting to disturb him during homeroom, I make my way down to my locker and pull out the few things that I’ve stored here for the past few weeks. It’s not much but I’m not about to leave it all behind.
I shove everything into my bag and haul it onto my back before walking out the gates and not looking back.
I bypass the student parking lot and just as they always do, my eyes fly to Colton’s parking space, only today, there’s no charcoal Veneno. I wasn’t expecting him to show up after everything that happened over the past few days, but not seeing him kinda sucks and I hate that. After the way he pushed me away, I should be hating on him. I should be figuring out a way to make him hurt just like he did to me. I should be angry, but I’m not. I’m sad. I’m sad for all the things we missed out on, I’m sad for the joy I know I would have felt being in his arms, but mostly, I’m sad for the way I know I could have loved him.
I try to put it to the back of my head as I walk out through the student parking lot and onto the main road. I hate walking home, but today, walking is better than waiting around and risking the possibility of running into Dean Simmons.
I can’t believe that fucker suspended me. I mean, it’s not as though this is my first suspension. This will be my seventh … or maybe it’s my eighth. I don’t know, but for some reason, this one hits home a little too hard. It’s never good news when you’re being suspended—I know I completely deserved it—but knowing that this is Dean Simmons taking the easy way out doesn’t sit well with me.
I don’t know what I’m so upset about. It’s not as though I actually like this school. My time here has been complete bullshit. I’ve been discriminated against because of my gender, my class, and my lack of wealth, while also being sexually harassed every fucking day by students and staff. If anything, I should be seeking therapy, but all I want right now is to cry.
If Charles was still here, that wouldn't have happened. He would have been in Dean Simmons’ office and put that fucker in his place. Heaven knows it wouldn’t be because he had a sweet spot for me, but because it would have been another opportunity to assert his power. Either way, it would have resulted in me being left the hell alone.
I wonder if Colton will now have that kind of power? He already kinda does, but Charles’ … wow. When he walked into a room, you knew it. The whole world knew it. He had an air about him that warned people not to fuck with him. Just one sharp glare and you could be on your knees. I don’t know if it was a power thing or maybe a danger thing, I never really got the chance to figure it out. Colton sure as hell did though and something tells me that whichever it was, he’s going to replicate it in a massive way.
I honestly don’t know whether to be impressed, awed, or terrified.
I still can’t believe that Charles is gone. It’s a tragedy while at the same time, it’s something I should have seen coming a mile away. Not the whole same dagger thing though, that completely threw me and left me with more questions than anyone should ever have to ask.
I don’t even know where to begin. I guess the main one is who did it? Hell, I didn’t even know dad and Charles knew each other, though I could be jumping the gun here. Maybe they didn’t know each other. Maybe they both knew someone in common. Maybe they both fucked with the wrong person. Maybe Eli and Nic were right and it's a coincidence and there just happens to be two of the same daggers that were used to kill two of the men in my life.
Yeah … I wouldn’t believe that shit either. Besides, I don’t believe in coincidences, not ones like this.
What I do know is that there are far too many maybes and not enough solid answers. I don’t even know where to start looking for answers, but even if I did, I don’t know if I have what it takes to uncover them or even if I want to.