Cock & Bull - Laura Barnard Page 0,77

ya?’ he asks as soon as I release my grip. Suki looks up at us from the sofa. She stretches out, as if to show what an inconvenience being woken up is.

I swallow, feeling sick at even asking this. I just hope I’m wrong.

‘You said that happened to Sean, right?’ I’m shaking and I haven’t even asked the question yet.

He nods, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

‘And you said that he hated your dad, but you couldn’t tell me why.’

He nods cautiously, chewing on his cheek.

I take a deep breath, steeling my nerve. ‘Is your dad in with the developers?’

I hope for him to burst out laughing. To tell me what a ridiculous drama queen I am for even suspecting this, but instead he puts his hands in his pockets and looks to the floor, his shoulders hunched.

‘Please tell me I’m wrong.’

Hooded eyes look up at me. ‘You’re not wrong.’

‘Oh my god.’ I sit down on the sofa, needing some support for my jellied legs. ‘Why doesn’t everyone know?’

Surely if they did they’d all boycott his pub.

‘Because Sean was made to sign a non-disclosure agreement. If it got out he’d be liable to pay back his settlement. He might hate him for it, but he has to protect himself. He wants to leave some money for his grandkids.’

I suppose I can understand that.

‘But why have you kept it quiet? I thought you hated your dad?’

‘I never said I hated him, Phoebe,’ he snaps. He runs his hand through his hair. ‘Hate is a strong word. I just…’. His face is tortured.

‘You still feel loyalty towards him, don’t you?’

He inhales and exhales a breath full of regret. ‘I realise how stupid that is.’

I actually kind of get it, an overwhelming sense of relief settles over me. He does have loyalty to him. He can be trusted.

‘It’s not stupid. He’s still your dad.’

He moves to look out the window, arms crossed against his chest. ‘I just… I’m ashamed to tell people that my father would do that. Buy up and destroy the town he was born in.’

I nod in understanding. ‘I get it. Guilty by association.’

‘Plus, I don’t think my dad is really evil or anything. It’s just that he was brought up with nothing. He’s always been mad about money. When the developers approached him about getting on board and giving them inside intel, well he jumped at the chance. Running the pub you can imagine the secrets he knows at any given moment.’

I nod, even though he’s not looking at me.

‘I actually…’ He runs his hands through his wayward hair. ‘I actually have a secret of my own I want to share with you.’

‘Really?’ I can’t help but sound super pleased and desperately hopeful.

He nods. ‘You shared a huge secret with me, so it’s only fair, right?’ He smiles, but it doesn’t meet his eyes. ‘Something I’m sure my dad will revel in telling you. I wanted to be the one to break it to you.’ He rubs the back of his neck.

‘Right…’ He’s scaring me now.

What the hell has he done? Is this the reason him and his dad fell out? And how many more revelations in my life can I take before I completely lose it?

Chapter Thirty-Nine

‘Only, well.’ He closes his eyes, taking a calming breath. ‘My dad might be a bit of a bastard, but he’s bailed me out a few fair times. Money wise.’

His eyes flick to mine, holding me, imploring with me to understand.

‘Oh.’ He was in debt? This must be what his dad was warning me about.

‘Because… well.’ He takes another deep breath, licking his lips. ‘You were right as it turns out. I’m a recovering gambler.’

My stomach nearly falls out of my knickers. I knew it! I was right. I’ve never wanted to be more wrong.

‘Shit, really?’ I blurt out. Must fix that brain to mouth filter.

He nods, chewing on his cheek. ‘You know how I disappear every Tuesday evening? Well that’s my support group.’

Okay, so at least he’s getting help. But then hang on, I caught him gambling on his phone just the other day. It might have only been a card game with friends, but I thought you were supposed to go cold turkey.

‘But you’re still gambling,’ I utter, thinking aloud. ‘I saw it on your phone that day.’ Oops, probably shouldn’t have brought up going through his phone again.

‘I was only looking that day.’ His voice loses its power. ‘I managed to resist, but some days are harder than others.’ I