Cock & Bull - Laura Barnard Page 0,7

that thought that was appropriate parking.’

My mouth drops open. The arrogant bastard. I can’t believe anyone could be so rude. I thought the Irish were supposed to be friendly?

I grab my change from the cashier. ‘Well, this half-witted female doesn’t appreciate your concern and would kindly ask you to fuck the fuck off!’

I pick up my shopping, spin on my heel, slamming the door behind me as I leave.

Fuck the fuck off? Why the hell did words have to fail me then?

I’m expecting Ella to share my shocked outrage about Suki the skunk being our new family pet, so when I walk in and her eyes widen, not in horror, but with adoration, I could collapse.

‘Oh my god! How cute is that! Where did you find it?’

‘I didn’t find it anywhere,’ I snap. Does she honestly think I’d bring in a wild skunk? ‘It’s Aunt Breda’s pet. Sorry, now it’s our pet.’

She bounces up and down on her heels. ‘Oh my god, really?’ She coos all over it and takes it into her hands. I’m glad to get the thing away from me. ‘I’m assuming her scent glands have been removed?’

I stare dumbfounded back at her. ‘Since when did you learn about skunk’s scent glands?’

She smiles adoringly into Suki’s eyes. ‘I watched a documentary on the Discovery Channel,’ she says, before adding in a baby voice, ‘Didn’t I, Suki. Yes I did.’

‘Since when do you watch the Discovery Channel?’ Who is this woman before me?

She shrugs. ‘Okay, well maybe it was on in the background while I was at Alfie’s house.’

‘Ah.’ That sounds more like Ella. ‘Well since you’re so invested in our new pet you can work out where the hell it’s going to sleep and what it eats.’

‘You can sleep in my bed, can’t you,’ she coos down at her, the way most people would to a newborn.

‘There is no way she’s sleeping upstairs. End of story.’

She turns and walks away, but not before I hear her mumble, ‘We’ll just see about that.’

Chapter Five

Tuesday 15th September

After nearly four weeks of hard slog, and attempting to raise a skunk later, its opening night. The place looks... well it looks passable. I made a massive dent in my savings to do it up as well as I could, but the truth is that it needs complete gutting and starting again. We don’t have the budget for that.

Instead the mahogany bar has been cleaned and has pastel bunting hanging from it. Anything to try and brighten the place up. It’s so dark and dingy in here, even when its sunny outside. We’ve bought some cute little mis-matched lamps we found in the local charity shop which we’ve dotted around the place to try and add some light. It looks like they’re going to be on all day at this rate. I dread to think of the electric bill.

The top of the battered tables have been sanded down by us and painted white. The chair cushions have been replaced with vintage pastel ones from eBay and over the door are twinkling fairy lights.

The garden out back and to the side is huge; we haven’t even attempted to attack it yet. Well apart from putting more fairy lights up against the fence. We’ve almost run out of money. Especially as we then had to go to Costco to stock up on some booze. We kept all of the stuff that was within their best before dates and got barrels of beer delivered from the brewery. Ella can even almost pull a pint without it being just half foam. Progress.

‘Are you ready?’ Ella asks, hovering her hands by the door lock.

I gulp down my rising panic, putting on a brave smile for her. Always the older sister.

‘As I’ll ever be.’

It would help if I wasn’t so sleep deprived. Ella refused to confine Suki into the garden in a crate, stating that the poor thing would freeze to death in the September chill, so instead she has free roam of the flat. Ella tried to encourage her to sleep with her, but the damn thing is scratching at my door at two in the morning. I’ve tried to ignore her but she cries and whines until I let her in. I barely close the door and she’s nestled under the covers. Gross little thing is actually starting to grow on me.

I stand behind the bar bracing myself for the rush of people. For a week we’ve been handing out flyers and putting ads in the