Cock & Bull - Laura Barnard Page 0,58

my head. ‘Tell me what you’re most upset about.’

I sigh. ‘I guess the most upsetting part of it is that my dad cheated on my mum. Repeatedly. My heart hurts for her. That she wasn’t enough for my dad.’

I breathe in through my nose, feeling comforted by the scent of cigarette smoke mixed with soap, cinnamon and mint.

‘You said open relationship, so I’m assuming she knew?’ he asks, still not breaking his hold on me. I feel so safe in his arms.

‘Yes.’ My heart breaks for her. ‘They’re both bloody proud of how open and honest they’ve been with each other. It’s ridiculous.’

He strokes my back with soothing circles. ‘Maybe she’s honestly okay with it?’

I lean my head back to look up into his honest forest green eyes. ‘Can you honestly tell me, as a man, that my father was happy when he decided to sleep with another woman?’

He frowns and looks away, chewing on his lip. ‘There’s someone you should be talking to about it and it’s not me.’

‘I don’t know if I can talk to either of them right now.’

He smiles down at me. ‘Do me a favour and call your parents once the dust has settled a bit. You never know when you’re going to lose them, you know?’

Did he lose his Mum? Is that why he’s saying that?

‘I know it feels like the end of the world now, but if they were taken off this earth tomorrow, you’d feel pretty lousy that you left it on bad terms.’

I mull it over. I know he’s right and rational. If my dad died tomorrow I’d be devastated no matter how angry I am right now.

‘It’s obvious your family love you. You could do far worse, trust me.’

‘Yeah, the only problem is that my dad has so much love to give its spilled over onto other women.’ I snort a laugh, trying and failing to diffuse the melancholy atmosphere.

Why did I have to use the words spilled over? Now I’m thinking about my dad’s sperm. Ugh, gag.

‘Still, your mam said she’s happy with it right? So why don’t you believe her?’

I shrug, already knowing the answer.

‘I suppose it’s because when I imagine meeting the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I’ve always hoped he’d be just as obsessed and deeply in love with me, as I am with him. The thought of the man I love having sex with someone else…’ I shudder, memories of Garry darting into my grey matter—not that he was marriage material. ‘Well, it would just destroy me.’

He stares at me hard, those eyes assessing me carefully. ‘I used to never understand why people stuck to one person, but when you find the right person its easy.’

That has me intrigued. Has he ever had a long relationship? Ever been in love? I just assumed he was a forever playboy.

‘Have you never been with anyone and not wanted to sleep with someone else?’

He shrugs, scratching at his chest, his eyes on anything but me. ‘There’s a lot about me you don’t know.’

‘What?’ I laugh. ‘From the man that refuses to tell me anything… Shocking.’

He rubs the back of his neck, as if cautious of my reaction.

‘All you need to know is that the ladies love me. I can’t help that I was blessed with all of this gorgeousness and a generous personality.’

There’s the normal naughty Clooney I know. He’s changing the subject, avoiding the question, but for once I don’t care.

I laugh, really laugh. He seems to be the only person lately that can really make me. Either that or irrationally angry.

‘That’s why I could never date a pretty boy that loves himself like you.’

His lips part. ‘Pretty boy?’ he repeats, affronted. He points over himself. ‘I’m no pretty boy.’

I snort a laugh as I look at his broad chest and tattooed arms. ‘No, I suppose you’re not. What I mean is dating someone prettier than me. Knowing they’d always be searching for a girl better than me.’

Just like Garry did.

‘That’s not possible,’ he mumbles under his breath.

‘What?’ I blurt before I realise what he’s said. I’ve already heard him though.

‘Nothing.’ He pulls away, looking instead at the lake.

He thinks I’m pretty? Ugh, I hate that my self-worth these days lies in the hands of this guy.

He turns and glances over my shoulder. ‘The person you need to speak to is here.’

He kisses the top of my head and releases me. I turn to see Mum walking towards me. Jesus, the