Cock & Bull - Laura Barnard Page 0,44
heel and storm to the back of the bar and into the kitchen. I can’t even look at him right now, I’m too mad.
‘Wait!’ he shouts. I’m half in the kitchen when he takes me by my arm.
‘No!’ I throw him off me, my rage giving me super strength. ‘Why am I even shocked? You’re not on our side. You’re on your dad’s side. You were probably sent to fuck everything up in the first place.’
He flinches, his eyes squinted at me. ‘Hey! I have my friends out there spending money on your booze. Do you think my dad would like to know they’re here, rather than at his?’
I open my mouth to respond, but realise he is right. Damn, I hate being wrong. I know deep down I’m pushing him away because I’m scared of how he makes me feel. Scared of being hurt again.
‘I mean, yeah,” his voice softens, “maybe I didn’t think through the poker game, but fuck, Phoebe.’ He grabs a fistful of his t-shirt. ‘Of course I’m on your side. I want this place to work. Not just to piss my dad off, but because I want you guys to be successful here.’
He seems so sincere. It would be so easy to believe him, but I’m guessing all those women that slept with him believed all of his broken promises too. He’s too charming to ever fully trust and let in. Not after Garry. I won’t humiliate myself like that again.
‘You promise?’ My voice sounds wobbly, even to my own ears. I’m so pathetic. Way to look like a strong, confident woman.
He sighs, stepping forward, his wide green eyes imploring mine. ‘I promise,’ he says, his voice low and serious.
I relent. It’s not like I have much chance up against that beautiful searing gaze.
‘Okay, well then, I’m sorry.’ I bite my lip. Something about Ballykielty has me losing any calm rationality.
He runs his hands through his dark hair making it stand on end. I imagine that’s how he looks when he’s freshly fucked.
‘And I’m sorry for not thinking. It won’t happen again.’
‘Okay, thanks.’ I smile, suddenly embarrassed to have got so cross with him. It’s just with everything getting on top of me he was the closest one to lose it with. Ella’s never here when I need her. I turn to walk into the sitting room.
‘Oh, and Phoebe?’ he calls after me. I turn around to see him at the kitchen door, his frame still tense. ‘You said I don’t know you well enough to call you Pheebs.’
‘Err... yeah?’ I nod, confused what his point is.
He smiles lazily, as if to himself. ‘I already know you a hell of a lot better than you think.’
He turns and walks out. The worrying thing is that he’s possibly right.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Wednesday 14th October
I can’t stop thinking about what Clooney said last night. Why the hell does he think he knows me so well? What kind of illusion is he under? He doesn’t know me. Not at all. The man might have got me off in a bathtub but that doesn’t mean he knows me. Knows my soul. My deepest, darkest fears and secrets.
I don’t have to be in work until this afternoon, so I get to watch him jogging out in his tiny shorts for a run. I don’t know how he can stand to be in shorts in this freezing weather, but I’m not complaining as I ogle his thick thighs and toned calves out of my bedroom window. I’ve turned into a little pervert lately.
‘Really?’ Ella teases, coming in with a cup of tea. I need it, she was snoring like a trooper last night. This sharing a bed lark is getting old real quick.
‘I was just checking the weather,’ I insist with a shrug before taking my tea from her. Suki trots in, stretching herself out on the floor like a small fur rug.
‘Oh pur-lease!’ Ella laughs. ‘You fancy the pants of him.’
I take a sip of tea, biding for time. I know if I protest too much she’ll call me a liar. I need to play this cool.
‘I don’t think I could ever properly trust him. Not after Garry.’
She sighs. ‘Pheebs, how many times do I have to tell you? Not all men are like Garry. He was the reason he cheated, it had nothing to do with anything you’d done.’
‘Then why do I blame myself? Why have I replayed every conversation we’ve ever had? Every sexual encounter. What if it’s because I’m