Cock & Bull - Laura Barnard Page 0,41

working all day and she can’t even keep it together.

‘What’s the point?’ she says with a sniff. Her eyes are blotchy, her mascara smudged underneath.

‘Point in what?’

She spreads her arms dramatically. ‘This whole thing? Let’s face it, it’s not working here. We should just cut our losses and go back home.’

I scoff. ‘That’s easy for you to say. You haven’t just spent your life savings doing it up.’

She slumps further into her bar stool. This is just like her to make everything about herself. All of it is so Ella. When something is too hard, she just quits.

‘We’re stuck here aren’t we?’ Her chin starts wobbling. ‘We’re going to die here and be eaten by the stupid fucking cows.’

She’s so dramatic. She saw one cow.

I choose to ignore her. I’m already feeling down. I can’t cope with this too. I walk behind the bar and pour myself a glass of cold white wine.

‘So, don’t panic...’

I look at Clooney. Did he just say that? It didn’t sound like his voice. He’s looking at me with narrowed brows.

‘But I followed you home from work.’

Oh for fucks sakes. You have got to be kidding me.

‘I really hate to bother you at home, but I need you to pass on a message to my wife.’

‘Go away!’ I shout in frustration, forgetting I’m around actual living people.

Clooney jumps out of his skin. ‘What? I’m nowhere near you, you fecking maniac.’

I shake my head. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean you.’

‘Did you mean me, then?’ Ella asks, full of self-pity. ‘My own sister wants me to go away.’

‘I’m afraid I can’t go away.’

‘Who were you talking to then?’ Clooney asks, his eyes raking over my face, trying to work out what my problem is.

‘You see, I need you to pass on a message.’

Dead people making me look nuts again.

‘Um... myself?’ I offer weakly. It’s hard to keep up with two conversations at once.

‘It’s a pretty urgent message, you see.’

God, will he just fuck off? I’m trying to look normal in front of alive humans.

‘Yourself?’ Clooney asks, amusement dancing in his eyes. ‘You were telling yourself to go away?’

‘Yes, okay,’ I snap through gritted teeth. I don’t have the time or energy to come up with something better. ‘Anyway, you can finish your shift now if you like.’

‘My wife can’t find my will. She’s turned over the house looking for it.’

‘Alright, thanks.’ He smiles, bewildered.

‘But I hid it in the dog food container. I need you to let her know.’

I attempt to wave the ghost off, motion for him to piss off without having to speak.

‘You sure you don’t need me to stay?’ Clooney asks, looking at Ella in alarm.

‘Only I need you to let her know urgently.’

‘Go away,’ I snarl through my teeth.

Clooney’s eyes widen in alarm and is that… a bruised ego?

‘Alright! There’s no need to be rude. I’ll go.’ His voice is scored with hurt.

‘Sorry, not you.’ I sigh, exhausted, rubbing my temples trying to release the stress.

‘Who, then?’ he demands, hand on his hip. He looks like a sexy teapot. I bet he’s into tea bagging too, the dirty bastard.

‘Can you go see her tonight?’

I rub my forehead. ‘Ugh, I’ve just got such a headache.’

‘Okay, well... I’ll be off then.’ He turns to leave, obviously thinking I’m some maniac. Maybe I am.

‘Please. I’ll leave you alone as soon as you’ve told her.’

‘Actually,’ I shout after Clooney. ‘If you could stay while I run an errand, that would be great.’ I grimace a smile.

‘Jeysus woman, make up your fecking mind.’

Chapter Twenty-Two

As I trudge back into town, I’m heartbroken to think I’ve upset Clooney, even if I didn’t mean to. That hurt look in his eyes will haunt my dreams. He’s sure to think I’m a nutcase. Hell, that ship’s probably long sailed. But this voice following me has given me an address and said to ask for his wife Colleen. The way I see it, if a Colleen opens the door that’s confirmation enough that I’m not imagining it all.

I stop outside a row of small terraced houses painted pretty pastel colours.

‘It’s the one with the ivy.’

‘Yeah, and I’m sure she’s going to want to talk to the random woman at her door.’

‘My Colleen can be a bit suspicious, but we’ll talk her around.’

Great. I can’t believe I’m potentially being bossed around by nothing more than a figment of my imagination. I knock on the door, dancing from foot to foot. This is crazy. I’m acting insane, but at this point I’ll do anything to quieten