Cock & Bull - Laura Barnard Page 0,37

up causing me direct pain.

Here I was thinking they’d be a fire hazard. I never considered being trapped in here, naked, with Clooney.

He sits down on the floor, his back leaning against the bath, and sighs heavily.

‘This isn’t ideal for me either, you know,’ he says, his voice tense.

‘Ugh, whatever.’ I’m sure he’s been in worst situations. I sigh, attempting to let all of my stress out in one heavy breath. It only proves to make me feel more hassled, every muscle in my body taut. I mean, if the guy turned around right now, he’d see my cooch. And I haven’t even bothered to shave my lady garden—for a while. Like since I broke up with Garry. He’ll think I live like this all the time, like a bloody cave woman with a forest instead of a neatly tended garden. Damn it.

‘Why are you so bloody stressed anyway?’

I sigh again. Doing a hell of a lot of sighing at the moment.

‘Let me think. I’ve ploughed all of my savings into a failing business, I’ve moved to a country that seems to hate me and now I work with dead people.’

I don’t dare tell him I might be able to hear them too.

‘Well, shit,’ he says with a chuckle. ‘Sounds like you need to get laid.’

My jaw drops open at the bare faced audacity.

‘Oh my god, is that your answer to everything’? I exclaim. ‘Meaningless sex?’

I don’t know why I expected anything more from him. He’s nothing more than a man-whore.

He shrugs. ‘It doesn’t have to be meaningless.’ His tone has turned serious.

Shit, what does he mean by that?

‘And it doesn’t even need to be full sex,’ he continues. ‘You just need an orgasm.’

Oh my god. The cheek of this man.

I snort. ‘Well, good luck.’ Why has my voice turned husky? ‘I can’t even get myself to come, let alone a man doing it for me.’

Jesus, why am I telling him this? I need to stop blurting stuff out in front of him. He makes me so stupid.

He turns to face me from under his dark lashes, locking his intense forest green eyes with mine. A shiver runs through me.

‘Sorry, did you just say that you’ve never had an orgasm?’

Jesus, why must I be such an over-sharer? As if being naked doesn’t make me vulnerable enough. I might as well tell him. Maybe if I open up he will too and I’ll find out the deal with him and his dad.

‘Face to the wall,’ I demand, my voice low but full of authority. He tuts but does as I ask. ‘No. I’m pretty sure I’ve been close before, but I’ve just never been able to get there fully. You know, those over the hill, falling back to earth, soul shattering kind of orgasms you read in books or women’s magazines. Part of me thinks it’s all just a load of bollocks and it’s not even real.’

He snorts. ‘Oh, it’s real alright.’

I scoff a laugh. ‘You mean, you haven’t even considered that those women you sleep with aren’t faking their orgasm?’

‘Trust me, no one is that good an actor.’

Such a cock womble.

‘Really?’ I want to dent his massive ego. ‘I’m sorry, but I doubt very much that any of those were real.’

He turns to face me again, those eyes making promises he can’t keep. ‘I’m telling you.’ He searches over my face as if looking for something. ‘Why the hell would they keep coming back for more?’

I raise my eyebrows. ‘To flatter your ego no doubt.’

He raises his eyebrows, as if to say really?

I decide to continue, to let him know how real women operate.

‘They probably hope that one day you’ll amend your ways and they’ll be the special girl to change your mind and consider a relationship. A girl will always want to change a bad boy. It’s the oldest story in history.’

His eyes glare at me. He’s so close I can feel his minty breath on my face. ‘I’m telling you right now. I could give you an orgasm in minutes.’

Is he offering?

‘I don’t believe you,’ I whisper, suddenly breathless. Damn it, why am I turned on right now? I’m supposed to be insulting him and now I have him offering me an orgasm? I feel my nipples pucker under the face cloth. I pray he doesn’t notice.

His jaw stiffens in annoyance. ‘Just shut up and turn around, will you?’ he growls.

‘Why? What are you going to do?’ Panic grips at my throat. My heart thumps inside my chest.