Cock & Bull - Laura Barnard Page 0,29

just at the thought of it.

‘I’ve already done it,’ he says casually, shovelling another mouthful of sandwich into his mouth.

‘You what? Bloody hell, what time did you wake up?’

He grins. ‘I’ve never been very good at sleeping in.’

What a weirdo.

‘Well, it turns out you are pretty handy.’

He wiggles his eyebrows. ‘Oh, you have no idea.’

I snort a laugh. Attractive. Trust him to turn it back to sex.

‘If your fan club are anything to go by, I believe you.’

His forest green eyes crinkle with a cocky smile. ‘I can’t help it that the ladies flock to me.’

He’s so full of himself.

‘Hey, as long as they’re buying drinks, I couldn’t care less.’ I could, but I won’t tell him that. Desperate little skanks.

He drops a small bit of sausage for Suki. She quickly gobbles it up, only to immediately spit it out.

‘Don’t feed her. Not that she seems to like your sausage.’ I freeze, widening my eyes when I realise what I just said.

He chuckles. ‘I think you’ll find that she’s the first ever female to refuse my sausage.’

We’re interrupted by someone banging on the front door. Thank God. We turn to stare at each other with raised eyebrows.

‘Who the hell is that?’ he asks, already standing up.

We both abandon our sandwiches to go and see who’s making all the racket. It’s a man I’ve seen in the pub before.

We open up the door. ‘Sorry, we’re not open yet,’ I say with a polite smile.

He scoffs a bitter laugh. ‘Oh, trust me, I’ll never be coming here again. My wife is at home, sick as a dog. She’s got food poisoning from the prawn sandwich she had here yesterday.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Clooney asks, eyes narrowed. ‘Those prawns were fine.’

‘Well, clearly not.’

Suki chooses that moment to push her head out of the door, nosing to see what’s happening.

‘And you have a skunk in your kitchen?’ he asks in wide eyed horror. ‘I’m reporting this to environmental health.’

‘No!’ I yelp, trying to run after him. This is the last thing we need. ‘Please, surely there’s something we can do between us to sort this out?’ I smile sweetly.

He looks at me, his eyes hard and unforgiving. ‘Can you go back in time and not poison my wife?’

My mouth moves hopelessly up and down, no words able to come out.

‘Exactly!’ He turns and storms off to his car.

I turn back to Clooney. I couldn’t feel more deflated. ‘Just when I thought we were getting somewhere.’

The overwhelming urge to crush my head against his chest and let him comfort me is strong. I resist, reminding myself that Clooney is not even my friend, let alone a potential boyfriend.

‘Oh shite, it’s not over yet.’

I frown up at him. ‘Huh?’

I turn to where he’s staring and find his dad pulling up and storming out of the car. I still can’t believe these two are related.

‘Oi! You two!’ His face is red and blotchy, his teeth bared like a pit-bull.

‘Oh shit.’ Is it too late to run away?

‘Don’t worry,’ Clooney says, moving in front of me like a well-built shield.

It’s not the first time he’s used himself to protect me. It’s strangely sweet. I don’t think I’ve ever had a man stick up for me like that.

Fergus barrels up to us, his beer belly swinging wildly.

‘I know it was you two! Don’t try and deny it,’ he roars, pointing his finger accusingly at us.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Clooney says, puffing out his chest.

‘Don’t play silly bastards with me, young man. I know it would have been your idea. Even she’s not stupid enough to try that herself.’

‘Hey,’ I protest weakly, from behind him. Way to look like a strong independent woman.

He looks straight at me, his brown eyes protruding. ‘Be warned, girl. He can put on the charm, but he’s nothing but a bad-un.’

What the hell is he talking about?

‘Leave her alone,’ Clooney growls, ‘and get off her property.’ His clenched fists shake with rage by his sides. ‘You’re barred.’

Fergus gets right up in Clooney’s face, his angry eyes bulging. ‘You’ve messed with the wrong man, son. I would have thought after what you did you’d be trying to get me to forgive you, but instead you go and declare war. Big mistake.’

He turns and flounces back to his car. He really does look nothing like Clooney and he definitely doesn’t have his charm. Could he have been adopted?

What did he mean? After what Clooney did?

‘Come on,’ Clooney says, grabbing my hand and pulling