you happy,” he answered. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you smile like that.”
He’d said sweet things to me like that before, but this time was different. It wasn’t what he’d said that had me worried, but the way he was looking at me. From the distant look in his eyes, I could tell that he wasn’t thinking clearly as he spoke. I stepped closer, placing my hand on his shoulder as I replied, “Yeah, I’m pretty happy these days, but I’m a little worried about you. Are you feeling okay, Sam?”
His back straightened as he sat there quietly studying me for a moment, then his face grew pale. His eyes dropped to his lap as he mumbled under his breath. He ran his hands over his face, then finally looked back up at me. “I’m fine. Just a little tired I guess. I … uh … It’s just you and that boy seem to be getting along. Happy to see you doing well. You’re a sweet girl. You deserve to be happy.”
“We’re doing alright. Well, today we are. Who knows what the future holds.” I smiled.
His eyes grew intense as he said, “Hold on to the good, Hazel. Hold on tight.” He looked down at his plate of food and started eating, letting me know that he was done talking for the moment. I left him to eat in peace, but continued to check on him until my shift was over. I couldn’t help but worry about him. Over the past few weeks, he’d become very important to me. He was a good man. I could see it in his eyes and in the way that he talked about things that were important to him, but he’d lost his way. I just had to believe that he’d eventually figure things out and get back on his feet. I was glad to know that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way about him; Cyrus also had a soft spot for him and was doing what he could to help. He’d made arrangements for Dan to take him back to the clubhouse after he finished his dinner. He’d gotten him a room set up and hoped that being around the guys might actually do him some good. When Sam finished his sandwich, Dan pulled his truck up to the front door to get him. Sam waved goodbye, and once he was gone, I headed upstairs to put the kids to bed.
When I finally got in bed myself, I couldn’t sleep. Like the pea in the princess’s bed, thoughts of Clutch had me tossing and turning all night, and the next few nights weren’t much better. It was agony. Each hour seemed to drag into the next as I waited for my night alone with Clutch. I was a wreck. One minute I was elated by the thought of finally getting to take that next step with him, but then, in a flash, I was slammed with a bottle full of nerves. I did what I could to distract myself with idle jobs around the apartment or taking the kids shopping for things that they’d need for camping, but nothing helped. Clutch was constantly on my mind. It didn’t help matters that since I’d told him about the camping trip, he’d been oddly distant. He’d started working later and later each night, cutting our nightly visits into quick dinners or short chats about our day. His lack of attention was absolute torture.
I was really starting to miss those little stolen moments, so I decided it was time to give him a little push—and I wasn’t exactly subtle about it either. I paraded around the apartment in his favorite cutoff shorts when he came over for dinner, and the minute I saw him walking into the diner, I would unfasten an extra button on my uniform. I’d smile and flirt, but no change. When that didn’t work, I started making excuse after pathetic excuse just to touch him, even if it was just to get a piece of lint off of his t-shirt. Unfortunately for me, he wouldn’t take the bait, and I was left feeling like an idiot and … a tad desperate. Something had to change—and fast.
She was killing me … absolutely, fucking killing me. I couldn’t even be in the same room with her without getting a damn hard-on, and she wasn’t helping one bit. I had known she was