“Sure, sweetheart.” I pulled back the covers and made room for her next to me. Once she was settled, I asked, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I had a bad dream.”
“You want to tell me about it?” I asked as I slipped my arm under her head, cradling her next to me.
She nestled a little closer. “It was another one about Momma and Daddy. We were at home watching a movie and it was dark. We were all sitting there together when those men came in to get us, but this time they got Charlie and me, too.”
“It was just a dream, sweetie. I’m not going to let anything happen to you or your brother.”
“I know,” she whispered. Her little body trembled in my arms as she began to cry, making my heart ache for her. As hard as I was trying, I knew it wasn’t enough. She’d been through so much, and with all the changes in our lives, she hadn’t had a chance to mourn the loss of our parents. None of us had, and with all of my hours at work, I hadn’t been there for her like I’d needed to be. I was too busy just trying to keep us afloat, and I hadn’t been able to spend time with her or Charlie. I had to figure something out—and soon. I gently ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her lightly on the back of her head, quietly holding her as she continued to cry. “I miss them so much.”
“I miss them, too. Very much.”
“I miss the way Mom would braid my hair every morning. And the way she made her eggs. She used to worry that she loved on us too much … too many hugs and kisses, but I liked that she did that. I loved all of her hugs … and now I miss them more than ever. I miss everything about her. I even miss the way she smelled.”
“I miss her, too. I miss her smile, and the way she was always singing in the car. And her laugh … she was always so happy. And Daddy, too. He was so goofy sometimes. I remember the year we went to Florida for summer vacation. It was such a long drive, and when we finally got there, he got out of the car and started dancing in the middle of the road. I thought I would die of embarrassment at the time, but now … I’d give anything to have him dancing in the road again,” I told her as tears started to trickle down my cheek.
“It’s just not fair. I want them back. I want my momma and daddy back,” she cried.
“I know you do. We all do. It’s just hard right now, but it won’t be like this forever, Hadley. The police are working hard, and when they catch the guys that hurt Mom and Dad, we’ll go back home. You’ll get to see your friends again, and …”
“No. I don’t want to go back home,” she cut me off. “Ever.”
Her reaction surprised me. I thought she’d be eager to get back home. “Why not?”
“I don’t want to go back there if Mom and Dad aren’t going to be there. It wouldn’t be the same, and it’d make me miss them even more,” she sniffled. “When things are safe again, maybe we can stay here or move somewhere else. I don’t care. I just don’t want to go back there.”
“Okay … we’ll figure it out. For now, you need to get some sleep. Do you want me to go lay down with you in your room?” I offered.
She tossed the covers back and sat up as she said, “No, that’s okay. I’m feeling a little better now.”
“Okay. I’m here if you need me.”
I pulled the covers back over me and tried to fall back asleep, but it was useless. Mom and Dad were on my mind, and I couldn’t stop wondering if the police had come up with any leads on their case. After tossing our cell phones, I’d called to give the lead detective my new number, but he hadn’t called in weeks. I was beginning to think they’d never find the men who killed my parents, and the kids and I would be on the run forever. I couldn’t let that happen. I needed to get in touch with him and push him to work harder so we could start to find some normalcy in our lives.