in the day, we’ll find some way to guard you. We will avenge Bill, and we will protect you.”
Avenge Bill? So Eric was sure Bill was dead. Well, nonexistent.
“I didn’t know he was supposed to be coming in last night,” I said, as if that was the most important fact I’d learned.
“He had—bad news he was going to tell you,” Pam said suddenly.
Eric overheard her and made a disgusted sound. “Tell Pam to shut up,” he said, sounding overtly furious for the first time since I’d known him. I didn’t see any need to relay the message, because I figured Pam had been able to hear him, too. Most vampires have very acute hearing.
“So you knew this bad news and you knew he was coming back,” I said. Not only was Bill missing and possibly dead—permanently dead—but he had lied to me about where he was going and why, and he’d kept some important secret from me, something concerning me. The pain went so deep, I could not even feel the wound. But I knew I would later.
I handed the phone back to Pam, and I turned and left the bar.
I faltered as I was getting into my car. I should stay at Merlotte’s to help dispose of the body. Sam wasn’t a vampire, and he was only involved in this for my sake. This wasn’t fair to him.
But after only a second’s hesitation, I drove away. Bubba could help him, and Pam—Pam, who knew all, while I knew nothing.
Sure enough, I caught a glimpse of a white face in the woods when I got home. I almost called out to the watcher, invited the vampire in to at least sit on the couch during the night. But then I thought, No. I had to be by myself. None of this was any of my doing. I had no action to take. I had to remain passive, and I was ignorant through no will of my own.
I was as wounded and as angry as it was possible for me to be. Or at least I thought I was. Subsequent revelations would prove me wrong.
I stomped inside my house and locked the door behind me. A lock wouldn’t keep the vampire out, of course, but lack of an invitation to enter would. The vampire could definitely keep any humans out, at least until dawn.
I put on my old long-sleeved blue nylon gown, and I sat at my kitchen table staring blankly at my hands. I wondered where Bill was now. Was he even walking the earth; or was he a pile of ashes in some barbecue pit? I thought of his dark brown hair, the thick feel of it beneath my fingers. I considered the secrecy of his planned return. After what seemed like a minute or two, I glanced at the clock on the stove. I’d been sitting at the table, staring into space, for over an hour.
I should go to bed. It was late, and cold, and sleeping would be the normal thing to do. But nothing in my future would be normal again. Oh, wait! If Bill were gone, my futurewould be normal.
No Bill. So, no vampires: no Eric, Pam, or Bubba.
No supernatural creatures: no Weres, shape-shifters, or maenads. I wouldn’t have encountered them, either, if it hadn’t been for my involvement with Bill. If he’d never come into Merlotte’s, I’d just be waiting tables, listening to the unwanted thoughts of those around me: the petty greed, the lust, the disillusionment, the hopes, and the fantasies. Crazy Sookie, the village telepath of Bon Temps, Louisiana.
I’d been a virgin until Bill. Now the only sex I might possibly have would be with JB du Rone, who was so lovely that you could almost overlook the fact that he was dumb as a stump. He had so few thoughts that his companionship was nearly comfortable for me. I could even touch JB without receiving unpleasant pictures. ButBill . . . I found that my right hand was clenched in a fist, and I pounded it on the table so hard, it hurt like hell.
Bill had told me that if anything happened to him, I was to “go to” Eric. I’d never been sure if he was telling me that Eric would see to it that I received some financial legacy of Bill’s, or that Eric would protect me from other vampires, or that I’d be Eric’s. . . well, that I’d have to have the same relationship with Eric that