Cliff’s strong arms closed around her. He rested his cheek on her hair and cuddled her close.
Tears spilled over her lashes and coursed down her cheeks. This was all she’d wanted. To have Cliff in her arms. To have the freedom to love and be loved by him.
But Immortal Guardians could arrive at any moment and—
Wait. What the hell was she doing? Giving up?
Though it killed her to do it, she gently backed out of his embrace. “Hurry and get dressed.” She swiped the tears from her cheeks. “If we leave now, there’s still a chance we can—”
“Emma.” Cliff’s voice was oddly calm as he clasped her hands in his.
“What?”
“No one is hunting me.”
She stared up at him, uncomprehending. “They don’t know you’ve escaped?” She shook her head. “How is that possible?” Now that he ate lunch in the cafeteria, everyone knew what he looked like. So it wasn’t as if he could just knock out a guard, put on his clothes, and slip out without anyone recognizing him.
He squeezed her hands. “I didn’t escape.”
She blinked. “I don’t understand. How else could you be here?”
He smiled, the glow in his eyes dimming to brown. “Bastien has been taking me hunting.”
“What?”
“He’s been taking me out hunting a few nights a week.”
Her chaotic thoughts struggled to catch up. “Hunting what?”
His teeth flashed in a grin. “Hunting vampires.” But his grin faltered and fell away as uncertainty rose in his handsome features. “The… voices have gotten louder. It’s been harder for me to ignore the violent impulses they inspire.” And how she loved him for telling her that, for being honest about his condition. “Bastien hoped that giving me an outlet for the aggression would help, so he’s been taking me with him on his nightly hunts.”
“Has it helped?” Was that why he’d seemed more relaxed lately?
Some of the tension left his form. “Yes. It definitely helps.”
Good. She squeezed his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shifted his weight and—releasing her—took a step backward. “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.” He offered another helpless shrug. “It’s a hard thing to admit—that killing makes me feel better.”
Of course it was. Cliff was a good man. “But you’re doing the same thing Immortal Guardians do. You’re killing men who murder innocents. Men who torture their victims before they drain them.”
He shook his head. “I could’ve been one of those men, Emma.”
“But you aren’t. Because you sought help. Because you’re fighting the madness instead of embracing it. Are the vampires you and Bastien kill fighting it? Do they want help?”
He sighed. “No.”
She shook her head. “I’m not going to fault you for executing serial killers, Cliff. I don’t think less of you, if that worries you.”
He relaxed even more.
“Where’s Bastien?” she asked. “Is he waiting outside?” Bastien had never accompanied Cliff to the cafeteria, so she had assumed he didn’t know she and Cliff had feelings for each other.
He smiled. “No. He started letting me roam around unsupervised for a couple of hours each night. He thought I would have an easier time chatting up other vampires and surveilling them if I wasn’t accompanied by an Immortal Guardian.”
Worry rose. “You’re surveilling other vampires? By yourself?” That sounded dangerous.
He nodded. “Some of the other Immortal Guardians don’t like it, but they need information and Seth gave us the okay, so Bastien doesn’t care.”
It still sounded too dangerous for her liking. “Does Bastien know…?” Does he know about us? she wanted to ask but was hesitant to say it because it sounded so intimate and their relationship had been strictly limited to friendship thus far.
“Does he know about us?” he asked, apparently lacking her hesitation.
“Yes.”
“No.” His brow furrowed. “I wasn’t sure how he would react.”
Then Bastien must think Cliff was out spying. “So in addition to hunting with him, you’re mingling with other vampires? Vampires you don’t kill?”
“Yes.” His look turned watchful. “Are you worried they’ll sway me into joining them?”
“What? No. Of course not. I’m worried they might realize you’re a spy and hurt you.”
He laughed. “They can’t hurt me, Emma. Bastien trained me well. I’m as strong a fighter as he is.” The words were not spoken boastfully but matter-of-factly.
At last it all began to sink in. Cliff hadn’t escaped. Bastien had taken him hunting to quell the voices, then let Cliff do whatever he wanted to for a couple of hours a night.
Her heart began to pound.
And tonight he had chosen to spend those hours with her.