that the past plays a part of why we are where we are, but I don’t think it’s the only reason why this has continued.”
Shoulders easing slightly, I let his answer sink in. It does make me feel a little better, like the self-doubt lingering can’t hurt me anymore over our situation. “My roommate knows a little about my past with Danny, my feelings, and he mentioned that I was clinging to the past using you. Maybe not in so many words, but the insinuation was there.”
He wets his lips. “He, huh?”
I swallow. “Easton.”
His lips turn downward. The way his eyes dull tells me he knows what I’m not saying openly. The truth lingers in the atmosphere between us, thickening the air. “I see.”
“Things with Easton and I are complicated, and—”
“Hey,” he cuts me off, smiling. “I’m not judging you, Piper. You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices. What you’ve done is none of my business.”
My jaw quivers as emotion clings to the inside of my chest, swelling my heart. “Thank you,” I whisper, voice breaking.
“You don’t have to thank me.” He reaches out and threads our fingers together. “I think Danny is the reason we’re here, but I don’t think it’s a negative reason.”
“Like we’re supposed to be here?”
He squeezes my hand. “Why don’t you come to my house tomorrow night? I’ll cook us dinner, you can meet Cap. Bring Ainsley if you’d like. I want to spend time with you, hear you laugh, listen to anything you want to talk about.”
I blink back tears. “What if I say the wrong things? What will you think about me then?” My mind conjures images of tattooed skin and a brooding smile. I hear the slam of the front door and the look of utter defeat in blue eyes. It makes me frown. “I was sleeping with somebody to alleviate the pain, Carter. How could you not think even a little differently of me for that?”
“We’re human.” His response is that simple, like it really doesn’t bother him. “You’re forgetting that I’m older than you. And you know what? I love that age isn’t a barrier between us, but you have to remember that you’re not the only one who thought sex was the answer.”
“You too?”
He just shrugs.
“Easton means well,” I theorize. He doesn’t stop me from talking about him, only making my guilt ease that much more until breathing doesn’t hurt so much. “I think we’re friends. But somewhere along the way things got complicated because of…”
“You and me?”
I go to tell him no but stop myself. “I’m not sure,” I admit. And I’m not. I don’t think the thoughts going through Easton’s head are exactly what’s happening between Carter and me. Then again, every time my mind goes to that place, the one full of potential feelings and further complications, I peel myself away from it. From Carter. From Easton.
“Dinner sounds amazing,” is what I eventually tell him, pulling myself from the rabbit hole that my roommate is at the bottom of.
He doesn’t mention anything about the change of direction, just smiles. “Great.”
I think about Ainsley and tell myself she’ll meet him soon. She’ll be able to see what a good man he is, how genuine he is, and how well he treats me.
But she won’t find that out tomorrow.
“Great,” I repeat, forcing a smile.
Jenna stays over at my house while I go out. She gave me a pep-talk, swatted my butt, and left me with a question I couldn’t answer in the moment.
“Are you going to move forward with your relationship?”
The way her eyes lit up when I didn’t answer her made it seem like she knew the reason why I hadn’t. And even as life offers me distractions by means of angry drivers and obnoxious hand gestures on the interstate, my thoughts keep circling around her inquiry.
Carter and I have held hands. He’s kissed me on the cheek when we’re alone. We’ve hugged for many reasons—because of sadness, for comfort, because we could. I like being wrapped in his arms, that’s never been an uncertainty. But our relationship hasn’t progressed because of me. The way his eyes flare when we get close tells me he wants something more when our conversations becomes deeper. About life. Our goals. The past. When we connect, I never let it go farther than it has because of the tug in my chest that I can’t decipher as good or bad. Sometimes, his lips will linger on my cheek