face was. It was distant but not cold. It’s like he knew something I didn’t. Worried about something I hadn’t thought of. It makes me wonder if he was talking about Carter or something else.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Agreeing to willingly go out with Carter seemed like a good idea until he pulled into my driveway. With my parents watching Ainsley and Easton at work, it left me in an empty house overthinking about every little detail. Jenna was working overtime at the boutique, and I didn’t want to bother her with my unnecessary freak-out when I realized what I’d gotten myself into.
The clamminess of my hands never eases as he drives us to a diner he chose thirty minutes away. It’s a decent drive. The windows are down because of the warmer weather and bright sun gracing the blue sky, and the early 2000s rock music plays on low to fill his vehicle when our conversation lulls.
And it lulls because of me.
“You look lost in thought,” he says quietly, glancing at me for a moment before returning his eyes to the road.
When he asked me again a few days ago if I wanted to have an early dinner with him at his favorite place, I’d contemplated saying no. But the way his warm eyes watched me made something in my chest shift. I couldn’t find an excuse not to. Ainsley was already being watched by my parents because they decided they wanted to take her to a movie and give me time to myself. I’d planned on doing homework and cooking the kind of food I know she hates because she’s not there to complain.
“I’m just thinking about school.” The lie slips off my tongue as I stare out the window. “I don’t have that much longer to go.”
He doesn’t call me out on it if he expects as much. “Are you excited?”
I go to answer but stop myself. Am I? I’ve always enjoyed school. I like the routine, the schedule to abide by. It makes having to make decisions easier. “Sort of,” I settle with. “I think I’m going to enjoy not having to stay up late to get homework done, but everything that comes after graduating? It scares me.”
“It’s scary,” he agrees. “But I have no doubt in my mind you’ll be just fine. Look how well you’re doing right now.”
Snorting wouldn’t be attractive, but it’s what I want to do. Most days, I barely hold on by a thread. I’m surviving on the extra money from my student loans and the money that Danny left to pay some of my rent. My paychecks from tutoring help me pay some of the smaller bills or groceries, but never both. Substituting made me enough to not have to dip into Danny’s money.
“It doesn’t feel like it most days.”
“Trust me, Piper. That’s normal.”
My head turns to him. “You trying to tell me that you don’t have it together? I’m not sure I buy that, Professor Ford.”
His chuckle surprises me. “Just because I have a decent job doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects of my life that aren’t askew. Everybody has moments that challenge them. It’s part of life, especially for those just starting out.”
Why does that bother me so much? He says it like I’m so young—fresh to the real world. But what he doesn’t know about are all the hard times I’ve had. How much I’ve had to work my ass off to make ends meet. I always manage, but barely. My parents would notice my weight loss and conveniently have premade food for me and Ainsley or slip twenty dollars into my purse. They knew I wasn’t eating because I had to make sure Ainsley was.
“I know,” I reply distantly.
It’s a few minutes before he speaks up again, his voice softer than before. “My dad asks me when I’m finally going to settle down. He was upset with me for not marrying Elizabeth, but I know he’s also glad I didn’t once I explained she wasn’t it. He loved mom. He understood not wanting to marry somebody I didn’t love.”
Not sure what to say, I press my lips together and shift slightly toward him to see his eased facial expression as he continues to talk. “I got a dog because the house I own is empty and cold. I needed to fill it with more than just furniture. You know, I thought once I checked things off a list I’d feel complete. Graduate. Get a good job. Do what I love.