A dry laugh bubbles past my lips. “You know what my problem is, Professor?”
“Carter,” he says.
“It’s that I’m probably not going to graduate on time like I planned,” I continue, ignoring his pointless correction. “Once again, I’m getting screwed over no matter how hard I try. My life keeps getting thrown off course, and I’m so fucking sick of it.”
I don’t wince over swearing in front of him. In fact, I don’t even care. It’s the truth, every word. Every time I try to make something of my life, another storm comes and ruins the opportunity. But it doesn’t just impact me now, it impacts Ainsley. I can’t keep screwing up because I’m responsible for another human being.
And that’s … it’s scary.
Too scary. Before I know it, tears well in my eyes but don’t fall. I refuse to let them, especially in front of Carter. His posture tenses when he sees me tear up, his brows pinching with concern. “Piper? What’s wrong?”
“I lost my placement,” I tell him brokenly, squeezing my eyes shut and palming the lids with the heels of my hand. “I was just doing what was right and they told me not to come back. They told me to find somewhere better suited for me. But there’s nowhere with availability. Everyone else in the program is taking up local schools.”
“For student teaching?”
“Yes.”
To my surprise, he says, “What about being a TA for a professor here on campus? I had an old friend from college who did that.”
My hands fall to my sides as I look at him with a blurry gaze. “What?”
He nods, a small smile tipping up his lips in what little comfort he can offer me. “Sure. And if you’re interested in teaching for higher education, it’d be even better. But experience is experience, and I’d be happy to help you by talking to your adviser and my director to get approval for it.”
I gape at him, the tears drying quickly until his serious expression is clear as day. “Wait. Are you saying you’d let me be your teaching assistant?”
His chin dips. “Of course.”
Of course. How can it be that simple? “I don’t know if that would work. I mean, I’ve considered getting my PhD one day to become a History professor, but—”
“Good. So talk to your adviser.”
“Carter … Professor Ford—”
He steps forward, the tips of his dress shoes brushing my thrift shop winter boots. “I want to help you, Piper. You deserve this. Why don’t we talk to people right now and you can email me about what your adviser says. I honestly don’t see why my director would be against it, especially if it’s for academic reasons.”
What other reason would there be? I shake it off, gripping my bag. “Why are you doing this for me? You don’t know me, and I was a bitch to you.”
“You had your reasons.”
“It’s no excuse.”
“You and Danny were close,” he says quietly, shifting slightly on his feet. “I know you cared about him. I know his death had to have been hard for you. Your anger was justified because you lost your friend. I’m not upset.”
He should be. Shouldn’t he? The way I acted is almost embarrassing to me now. “Are you sure about this? If they say yes, you’re stuck with me for the semester.”
His low chuckle fills the room. “It’ll be a help. My other 101 class is a handful and there’s more coursework. I could use a hand grading papers and splitting the work. You’ll need to teach a few classes, so we’ll figure it out once we know it’s happening.”
I’m too afraid to get my hopes up and believe it will. Every other time I’ve done that, I’ve crashed and burned from the expectations. Like when I thought I’d graduate with my bachelor’s degree, move onto my master’s, and get the perfect job by the time I was twenty-four. I’d be with Danny and Ainsley, maybe down the fast track to a real happy place with a family, and all would be right in the world.
Instead, I’m a twenty-six-year-old single mom who’s still mourning the death of her best friend turned one-night stand, and over a year behind on schooling because I took on the parental role to a girl who I have to fight for every single day because of her condition.
Nothing is what I planned.
Softly, I say, “Thank you, Professor.”
“It’s Carter, Piper. It’ll always be Carter.”
My heart aches over such a simple sentence, especially