held out her arms and did a slow turn. “In the flesh and surprisingly un-charred. And I’m completely jealous of your uniform,” she said. “And because you’re obviously badass with amazing clothing alteration taste, I insist you be our third BFFF. All in favor, raise your hand.” Shelly lifted her hand toward Tara.
What the hell is the third F for?
Tara didn’t move. She simply stared at Shelly’s raised hand. The girl didn’t look a bit deterred. Gabby watched as Shelly took Tara’s hand and lifted it, then high fived it with the hand that had been held in the air.
“There’s no point arguing with her,” Tara said with a smile. “She will just bug you until she wears you down, and you give in.”
Shelly nodded. “Dog with a bone, right here,” she pointed at herself.
“I’m not sure I can jump into a new relationship right now,” Gabby said, deadpan. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s totally me, not you and all that. Plus, I’m leery of abbreviations I don’t understand. Never heard of a third F in the BFF thing.”
“Gah!” Shelly practically growled. “I’m in love with her, Tara-bear. Badass and sarcastic? She’s the whole package.” Shelly tilted her head, looked at Gabby, and sighed. “Oh,” Shelly added with a point of her finger. “The extra F in BFFF stands for freaky. We added it because we’re just that awesome. It’s Best Freaky Friends Forever. Because how can someone be your best friend if you can’t be freaky with them?”
“Yeah, I don’t do freaky with chicks. Totally not my thing,” Gabby said and then quickly added, “but I’m not judging. No judgment here. Totally judge-free zone,” she motioned to herself, “up in here.” She nodded like a dork.
“Does that mean you do freaky with guys?” Liam interrupted, attempting to insert himself between Shelly and Gabby. Hell-girl was not having it.
Shelly looked at Liam as she pushed him back. “That’s strike two. My heat-seeking missile foot is warming up for launch.”
Liam chuckled. “You do realize how ridiculous that sounded, right?”
Shelly shrugged. “Butt out, Dorian Gray. I’m talking with my girls about freaky things, and you’re not invited.”
Shelly took a step toward Gabby, and Gabby took a step back. “But my zone does include ass-kicking if you get pushy on the freaky thing.”
“Yep,” Shelly said with a decisive nod. “We’re totally keeping her. All in favor say ‘Aye’.”
“Aye,” Tara and Shelly said together.
“Do I get a vote?” Gabby asked.
“Never,” Tara said. “My ‘Aye’ doesn’t really count. It just makes her feel like she has some sort of real control. Again, just go with it. She will just keep at it until you’re rocking in a corner with drool running down your chin begging for mercy.”
“I’m sorry,” Gabby said, looking at Shelly, “but are you sane? Like did hell cook your brains or anything?”
Shelly shook her head. “Nah, girl. I came down the vaginal chute and out into this cruel world with all this awesomeness already wrapped up in my DNA. A couple of fried brain cells never hurt anybody.”
“Actually, it kind of does,” Tara said.
“Not the point,” Shelly sang.
“What was the point again?” Gabby frowned and looked over her shoulder, wondering if she should just make a run for it. She could see herself really liking Shelly and Tara. Sure, Shelly was as crazy as a chicken on crack, but that just made Gabby like her more.
“The point,” Shelly said firmly, “originally, was that your clothes are freaking kick ass.”
“They really are,” Liam murmured.
Gabby glanced at him and felt her skin heat as his eyes roamed over her. She forced herself to ignore him and focused back on Shelly. “So, you want to be my friend because I cut up my clothes?”
“That’s part of it,” Shelly said. “Mostly, it’s the information I glean about you because you cut your clothes. And the fact that you’re standing here holding your own against my genius insanity. Let’s be real, it takes a genius to be insane. No sane person is ever a genius. Also, you remind me of a puppy that’s been kicked and needs a hug. I’m your hug.” Shelly held out her arms. “Bring it in, puppy. We can hug it out and wind beneath your wings it. Let me be your hero, baby. Stay with me cause you’re all I need.”
Tara pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. “Did you seriously just go through a list of lyrics while telling Gabby to hug it out with you?”