A Clandestine Corporate Affair - By Michelle Celmer Page 0,24
she had a thought, one that actually turned her stomach. “This is why you thought you wouldn’t be a good parent, isn’t it?”
“I haven’t had the best role models.”
He sure hadn’t. And why was she was just hearing about this now? Talk about being self-absorbed. Why hadn’t she asked about his family when they were dating? Why hadn’t she tried to get to know him better?
She thought she loved Nathan, but the truth was, she hardly knew anything about him. Had she been so self-centered, so busy having “fun” that she hadn’t even thought to ask? Or was she just too busy talking about herself?
No wonder Nathan had dumped her. If she were Nathan, she would have dumped her!
“I’m a terrible person,” she said.
He looked genuinely taken aback. “What are you talking about?”
“Why didn’t I ever ask you about your family before? Why didn’t I know any of this?”
He laughed. “Ana, it’s not a big deal. Honestly.”
“Yes, it is,” she said, swallowing back the lump that was filling her throat. “I feel awful. I remember talking about me all the time. You know practically everything about me. My life is a freaking open book! And here you had all this…baggage, and I was totally clueless. We could have talked about it.”
“Maybe I didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Well of course you didn’t. You’re a guy. It was my responsibility to drag it out of you by force. I never even asked. I didn’t even try to get to know you better. I was a lousy girlfriend.”
“You were not a lousy girlfriend.”
“Technically I wasn’t even your girlfriend.” She got up from the couch and grabbed their empty cocoa cups. “I was just some woman you had sex with who talked about herself constantly.”
She carried the cups to the kitchen and set them in the sink.
Nathan followed her. “You didn’t talk about yourself that much. And besides,” he added, “it was really great sex.”
Seven
Ana swiveled to face Nathan, not sure if he was joking or serious, if she should laugh or punch him. And whatever his intention, it hurt.
“That’s really all it was to you?” she asked. “Just great sex?”
Only after the words were out did she realize how small and vulnerable she sounded. Way to go, Ana. Why not just blurt out how much you loved him, and that he broke your heart? Why not throw it all out on the line so you can look like an even bigger fool?
“What difference does it make?” he asked, his eyes dark. “You were only using me to defy your father.”
Ouch. She should have known that remark would come back to bite her.
“And for the record,” he said, stepping closer, trapping her against the edge of the counter, “it was not just about the sex. I cared about you.”
Yeah, right. “Dumping me was certainly an interesting way to show it.”
“I ended it because of how I felt for you.”
What? “That makes no sense. If you care about someone, you don’t break up with them. You don’t treat them like they’re the best thing in your life one day, then tell them it’s over the next!”
“I know it doesn’t make sense to you, but I did what I had to do. What was best for you.” For her? Was he joking? “How in the hell do you know what’s best for me?”
“There are things about me, things you wouldn’t understand.”
Just when she thought this couldn’t get much worse, he had to lay the it’s not you it’s me speech on her. As if she hadn’t heard that one a dozen times before. Well, if it wasn’t her fault, why did she keep getting dumped? Why was she always the one with the broken heart?
“This is stupid. We covered all of this eighteen months ago. It’s done.”
She shoved past him but he grabbed her arm.
“It’s obviously not done.”
“It is for me,” she lied, and tried to tug her arm free.
“You weren’t the only one hurt, you know.”
She made an indignant noise. “I’m sure you were devastated.”
His eyes flashed with anger. “Don’t do that. You’ll never know how hard it was leaving you. How many times I almost picked up the phone and called you.” He leaned closer, so his lips were just inches away. “How tough it is now, seeing you, wanting you so damned much and knowing I can’t have you.”
Her heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t just telling her what she wanted to hear. He meant every word he’d said. He still wanted