Claiming The Rancher's Heir (Gold Valley Vineyards #2) - Maisey Yates Page 0,52

to my child, and I want the marriage to be mutually beneficial so you don’t leave it.”

“Well, your generosity created love in me. Love for myself and my life, and for you. I didn’t know that I could love you. I hated you. And I realize now the reason I hated you so much was that you called to something in me I wasn’t ready to reveal. I didn’t want my life to change. And something in me knew that you could change it. Just by existing, you could change everything that I was. Everything that I am. That you would drag me out of my comfort zone. Out of my safety. I wasn’t ready. So I fought you. I pushed back against you. Until I couldn’t anymore. My life was at a crossroads that day. I felt like an alien in my hometown, an alien in my skin, and it wasn’t until I gave in to you that things started to feel right.”

“That’s good,” he said. “And that has to be enough.”

“That’s the problem,” she said softly. “It’s not. Because I realized something tonight when we were at the party. When everybody was at their stations with their husbands, and I had to make a choice. What family was I going to join? I realized that my place was beside you. But it’s not because of a piece of paper, and it’s not simply because I’m carrying your baby. It’s because of love. And it’s... I’ve been chasing that my whole life, Creed. I tried to be the best that I could be, but I was looking for love and acceptance from a man who could never give it. I made myself acceptable for my father, and I lost myself. And I can’t hide what I am anymore. Who I am. What I feel. Least of all with you. Please don’t ask me to go back to hiding.”

“Wren,” he said. “I can’t love you.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

“Something broke in me a long time ago,” he said. “I failed. I failed at the most important thing a man can fail at. I’m not a father to my son. And I created an enemy to take the blame. I wanted to blame Louisa. But now I realize... I can’t.”

“Why not? Why can’t you blame her, but you can blame yourself?”

“She must have known. She must’ve known that I wasn’t going to do the job that Cal did. And she did what she had to do to protect her life, her child. But it was my responsibility to be better, to do more, and I couldn’t. I didn’t.”

“Because of that you can’t love me now?”

“I...”

“Will you love our baby? Or is what you feel for him or her all tied up in the boy you can’t have? Because it seems to me that’s awfully convenient. To have put all your emotions into something that you lost eighteen years ago. Of course you love your son. I understand that. It makes sense to me, even though you don’t know him. I get it. I do. But at a certain point, you’re just self-fulfilling a prophecy. You’ve decided that you’ll fail the people who love you, and you’ve gone ahead and made sure you will by deciding you’re not able to give again. You let that first loss decide how the rest of your life is going to go. Not just for you, but for me, for our baby.”

“I want to be there,” he said. “I want to take care of you both...”

“I grew up in a house that was quiet. That was half-muted with secrets and emotional distance. I have my sisters, and I love them dearly. But our parents... They didn’t love each other. My father couldn’t love anyone but himself. My mother is just defeated. I won’t put our child in that place.”

“I’m not your father,” he said. “I would never hurt you. I would never hurt our child. I would never hurt another woman...”

“I know you aren’t our father. But I still can’t face a life without love. A house without love for me and for my baby. That kind of home was my whole existence before. You can’t ask me to make it my life again. I finally found myself. All of myself. But I did that through loving you. And this woman I’ve become isn’t going to accept less than I know that we can have. If I didn’t think you could love me, then maybe I would take