going to talk about these bills, but first, I have to tell you a story. I'm not sure you know this, but I also grew up on a farm.”
He smiled then. It was a wistful, beautiful smile. My heart did a little flip-flop at how absurdly handsome he was. It really was not fair.
“My dad died when I was pretty young and my mom got sick not long after. Not sick like Meg. She died early from congenital heart disease. We were trying to run the farm, just the two of us, and it was too much for her. At one point, it was just me. And then we lost it. That was before she died. I know that the stress of it made everything so much worse for her.”
"How old were you?" I asked, surprised at how similar our stories were.
“I was seven when my dad died. That's when I took over doing a lot of the labor. It was a few years later when the farm got repossessed. I was close enough to eighteen that I wasn’t shuffled off to foster care.”
He squeezed my hand.
“I had to find a neighbor to house Hendrix at first. I worked at the local farms, a gas station, I did anything I could to make enough to keep him in oats and hay. He is the one who got me through it all. And this place . . . you and your family . . . you got both of us through the rest of it. My brothers too, of course. But they're not horse people. They don't understand.”
I swallowed as emotions overwhelmed me. I knew what he meant. I’d had no idea at all of everything he had been through. It only made me admire him more.
"For a long time now, a really long time . . . it's been my dream to regain that farm. The bank still has it. I go there now and then to make sure things don't fall down completely. But my dream has changed. Because of you."
I held my breath.
“I have the money to save the stables.”
"Oh, Nick . . . I can't let you do that."
"Are we together?" he asked me. "Am I your man?"
"I want you to be. If you want to be . . ."
"If . . ." He laughed and it was almost a bitter sound. "How can you ask me that, Melissa?"
"You are so . . . you are you. And I'm just . . ."
“Just what?” he asked. I shrugged and he finished my sentence for me. "Just the most beautiful, kind, caring, amazing woman I've ever met."
I froze, holding my breath. Then it came out of me in a big whoosh. I was still so insecure around him. Even though he never gave me a reason to be. Not really.
I was just afraid to hope for too much.
"I thought . . . I thought maybe you didn't want me. Because you haven't tried to . . ."
"Because I haven't tried to have sex with you? Oh, Melissa. No, honey. I want you more than you could ever know. I'm just trying not to . . . mess you up in the head. I'm protecting you from something I don't think you're ready for."
"I am ready, Nick."
He leaned back in his seat, his face hard. There was something in his eyes that I hadn't noticed before. A hunger. He did want me, after all. He really was holding back for my sake.
"Prove it. Tell me you'll let me help you save the stables."
"What does that have to do with us?” I hedged, not wanting him to feel trapped or like he had to do anything. He had already done so much for me. He had done so much for my mom. I could never repay him for his kindness. But this was something else. I literally couldn’t repay him for what he was proposing.
“Sweetheart, if you can't say it, we definitely can't do it."
I took a deep breath.
"I want to go to bed with you, Nick. And if you want to help with the stables, then you're going to have to take half ownership."
"Okay," he said. My heart did a backflip. Nick wanted to make love to me. And if he really wanted to help save the stables, then . . . I wasn't alone.
I never forgot what he said to my mother in the hospital. But it was hard to believe it. We hadn’t said the ‘L’ word.