City of Ruins - By Kristine Kathryn Rusch Page 0,84
I can’t, in good conscience, let you go back into those caves without telling you this. And I can’t, in good conscience, let you continue your work without giving you the option to walk away.”
They are all looking at me again, my long-term team, with great surprise.
“I won’t be upset,” I say. “You can stay in the hotel if you like, continue to draw your paychecks, have these meetings with us and offer your expertise, or you can return to the Business and wait for us there. I’m going to return to that Dignity Vessel, and I hope enough of you stay to help me with that. But I understand if you don’t.”
No one speaks. For a moment, I wonder if I’ve been clear.
Then Bernadette Ivy says, “I don’t want to go back into those caves.”
“Me, either,” says Gregory.
Ilona has taken out a pad and starts tapping in names. Thank goodness, because I hadn’t thought to do that.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” Bridge says. “This is just getting interesting. Why quit now?”
“I don’t mind the danger,” Mikk says.
“I wish I could see that ship.” Roderick sounds plaintive. He keeps thinking that we see marvelous things inside stealth tech, and until that ship arrived, we never had.
“I’d love to see it too,” Ilona says softly. “I have always imagined what the Dignity Vessels looked like new.”
I’m watching my team with a bit of surprise. Some of them share my obsession, something I hadn’t realized.
Several people haven’t spoken up at all, as if they’re thinking about this. I look at the Six. They’re the ones who matter. I want them to accompany me into that room. We’ll get so much done if there are seven of us.
If I’m alone, this might take months. Years.
I’m a pilot. I know science. I know history. But I’m not a scientist, nor am I an engineer. I’ll be guessing at so many things if I go in alone.
I don’t want to guess. I want to know.
Rea looks at the other members of the Six. They don’t meet his gaze. He shrugs and grins at me.
“I’m fascinated,” he says. “I can’t wait to go back.”
Kersting picks up his beer. “Never say that Rollo Kersting isn’t up for an adventure.”
“An adventure that might kill you?” Seager asks.
“Life kills you,” Kersting says. “It’s just a question of how you’ll go out. Imagine if I go out trying to start up a Dignity Vessel.”
“What if you go out crushed under tons of rock?” Al-Nasir asks.
“Hell, the way I eat,” Kersting says, “I might have a massive heart attack in my sleep. I’d rather have a romantic death, even if it involves rocks and a groundquake.”
“You’re unrealistic,” Bernadette Ivy says. “If you get crushed by rock, it won’t be a quick death. You’ll suffocate, most likely, from collapsed lungs and broken ribs. It’ll be agonizing. Or it might take a few days, because no one can find you.”
Ilona looks at me, as if she expects me to stop this part of the conversation. But I’m not going to. They have to be able to imagine the risks now, when I’m giving them the chance to quit.
Because the one thing I haven’t told them is that this is a one-time offer.
“You’re extremely dramatic, you know that?” Kersting glares at Ivy. “I’m saying the risk is worth it to me. I’ve been dragooned into working in stealth tech by Boss’s dad, and he was one big ass who never told me the risks. I’ve been part of this group for a long time now, and we’re finally getting to the good stuff. I have a weird genetic ability, and it lets me see things that—no offense, Bernadette—you might never have the chance to see. So I’m going to quit right now? You have to be joking. Of course I’m not going to quit.”
“Me either,” Quinte says, surprising me. She had been so afraid when the groundquake quit. She’d been terrified on most of the journeys we’ve taken together.
But she hasn’t quit, either. She hasn’t walked away.
“Really, Nyssa?” Al-Nasir turns slightly in his chair so he can see her better. His voice wobbles.
“Really,” she says. Then she looks at me. “I know I’m not the best person you have. I’m probably the worst. I don’t think well in a crisis. But it seems to me that unless another groundquake happens, and it somehow affects that room, we’re moving into a research phase of this operation, and I like research. I grew up on stories of