Circus of Death - Candace Wondrak
Chapter One – Thana
No messages showed on my phone. None at all. I stood near the entrance to the traveling circus that had put up its tents just outside of town. My heart felt funny in my chest, as if deep down, I already knew what was going to happen today, but I decided I would give it some more time.
I was waiting for someone, you see, and with the crowd of people, of families and other kids on dates, all hurrying past the gates after paying to get tickets at the nearby booth, I couldn’t help but feel even more alone than I already was. No one looked at me, no one even tossed me a glance as they hurried in, towards the big red tents and the wonders waiting within. I wasn’t worth their attention.
Living in a small town in the middle of nowhere, you realized early on that you didn’t mean shit to most people. Sometimes even your family didn’t really care about you.
Eighteen years old and already knowing all about the harsh realities of the world. Whoever said growing up was fun was a fucking liar. I couldn’t wait to see how miserable I’d be when I turned twenty, or thirty.
I checked my phone again. Nothing. He was almost a half-hour late, which meant the show was about to start. I should just give up and go home, but… I’d gotten all dressed-up on a Saturday, my normally lazy day, to go out with someone from school.
It wasn’t my idea. Sure, he was cute, and if I was honest, I got butterflies anytime he looked at me, but what did that matter? I was cynical enough to know that high school flings hardly lasted once both parties were out in the real world.
Of course, I didn’t consider my Podunk town in the middle of nowhere to be the real world. A lot of people never left it, and I felt sorry for them. My mom and dad, for example: born and raised here, in this strict and super religious town. They never went off to college, never really found themselves, and now they were pretty much stuck here until the day they kicked the bucket.
I was their only kid, but it wasn’t like they paid much attention to me. Some days, it was almost as if I didn’t exist. I’d gotten used to it throughout the years. At this point, it was what it was and I was under no impression that my life would change anytime soon.
Which was why I didn’t know why I’d thought this date would actually be a date. That I wouldn’t get stood up and made to feel like the queen of fools.
Why would a jock, the star of the football team, even look in my general direction? I had that girl-next-door vibe going on, only less so. My brown hair wasn’t pretty or highlighted; most days it was a mess of knots. My eyes were lighter than my hair, but still a dark color. I was skinny, but not rail-thin like the cheerleaders or the potheads in school.
I wasn’t ugly, I didn’t think, but I also wasn’t pretty, didn’t have the kind of face that made anyone stare at me for too long. A middle of the road kind of girl, as much as I wished it was different, that I was different.
Sighing, I put my phone away, straightening my back and trying to calm myself down. It wasn’t like I got stood up every weekend; I didn’t date. I didn’t put myself out there. Besides the occasional butterflies that swarmed in my stomach when I looked at a cute guy I wouldn’t mind kissing, I didn’t seek out boyfriends or dates or hookups.
I should go home, but… but on the off chance my parents would ask me why I was home so soon, I decided to stay. I’d stay, buy a ticket myself, and watch the show, telling my parents that the date was fine but I didn’t think he’d ever ask me out again, if they asked me.
You know the parents that always said boys would line down the street to date their daughter? Yeah, those were not my parents; never was, never would be. My parents were… well, let’s just say my parents were exactly the type of people who loved a small town like this.
The crowd had stopped funneling past the gates, cars parked in the field beyond. This circus had literally set itself up almost overnight,