me a hearing. Nor, when we arrived at your parents’ house today, look as if you’d like to cut my heart out and spit on it.’
Ruffled, Hannah interrupted. ‘But I understand your responsibilities. I don’t blame you for getting back with Loren—’
‘So you get to listen now.’ He talked over her, as if his patience hung by a thread. When she didn’t try to interrupt again, he uncoiled. ‘So Vivvi spun you an emotional story about Loren asking me to get together again for the sake of the girls?’
Miserably, she nodded. ‘And I can see why you’d—’
He placed his finger to her lips. ‘Well, I said no.’
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Nico saw astonishment make an O of Hannah’s lovely mouth.
He angled himself to face her. ‘Sorry if I’m snappy but I’ve had several long, anxious days. The relief of receiving a text from Rob last night to say you were back dissolved my bones. It’s like when one of the kids runs across the road without looking. Once you know they’re safe, relief turns to anger.’ The frank amazement in her eyes didn’t do anything to dampen his negative emotions. It had been a hideous time knowing Hannah had unquestioningly given up on him.
He strove for his usual calm. ‘I’ve been so scared, Hannah.’ Her expression softened, even if it was still wary. He continued, ‘Loren and Vivvi completely blindsided me by suggesting we should get back together. It sounded so plausible. I felt trapped. Horrified. Maria clung to me. It was like being buried in emotions and responsibilities and I was scrambling round for rational arguments. Rational thought, even.’
Hannah sat still and pale. He remembered how beautiful she’d looked when the snappy cold of Sweden had painted roses in her cheeks. She said, ‘You couldn’t call or text? Give me a clue?’
His smile flickered briefly. ‘Maria washed my phone. It died without a fight.’
Her mouth made a smaller O this time. He wanted to lean forward and kiss it. But it was too soon. She’d built up a wall of doubt and hurt and he didn’t want to put rejection between them too. ‘I bought a new phone on Sunday and I’ve been trying to make contact ever since. Nan told me about your … absence.’ He’d been going to say ‘crazy trip’ but that would put her on the defensive.
‘On Saturday night I asked Loren and Vivvi for time. I said it was so I could think but actually I just had to get them the hell out while I got my ducks in a row. I wanted to talk to you about my intentions.’ A dart of pain hit his chest. ‘But you removed that possibility. I was able to talk my plan through with my parents and Maria’s social worker but it was you I wanted.’
She moistened her lips. ‘What plan?’
Her hand lay on the sofa between them and he picked it up. Instead of replying, he sighed. ‘Talking to an addict’s difficult. They try and draw you into their world view. They’re plausible and persuasive. They get you questioning things you never ought to. Loren found rehab too hard and saw me looking after her as easy. She thought I’d enable her to avoid the professional help she needs. It’s tough to make someone like her accountable when she acts as if I’ve made her promises I’m trying to go back on.’ He remembered the agonised conversation that had taken place in the kitchen while the girls sat in the sitting room, mercifully entranced by Frozen II.
Hannah’s eyes were huge with remembered pain. ‘Her mother told me you’d agreed that you all belonged together.’ Her voice shook.
He kissed her hand, furious with Vivvi all over again. ‘Loren and Vivvi share some traits, I guess. Vivvi’s under stress and her instinct was to try and unload it. It’s a human frailty. But I agreed to nothing. I told Loren I wouldn’t be emotionally blackmailed into taking her over like another dependant.’ He was calming now at having Hannah near him again and listening. ‘I had to keep repeating I didn’t cause the situation and it wasn’t up to me to fix it. Refusing to be manipulated by an addict isn’t always easy but sometimes it’s for the best.’
‘Then she’s not going to accept your decision easily.’ Worry rang in her voice, though she shifted closer.
He slid an arm around her, his heart quivering at feeling her against him. ‘I’m afraid that’s a possibility. It’s a bit like me and