The Christmas Proposal - Miley Maine Page 0,39

point of any fling, but that was the problem.

“Serenity, I’d love to, but—” I hesitated. This was such bad timing for her to bring this up, especially since I was just about to tell her that we would have to lay off things for a while. I didn’t want her to take things the wrong way because I wanted to be with her, I really did. I just also needed to figure out how I was going to manage to break it properly to Sebastian. With the way things currently were, it was unlikely that he would be very understanding at all.

“But what?” Her brows came together, drawing creases in her pretty face.

“Your brother is coming down on Tuesday and I don’t want him to know, not yet. So we can’t be in a relationship right now, definitely not outwardly.”

Tears began to fill her eyes. “But why? Why would that be a problem?”

“Serenity, you know how protective your brother is of you—”

“That’s no excuse!” She stood, anger in her eyes. “You can’t just go around making me feel special, calling me your girlfriend to people, letting me sleep in your bed, making me feel so safe and loved, and then tell me we can’t be together in front of my family! He’s my brother, Grayson. He’d want what’s best for me. And you should, too.” She wiped her arm across her face, and it was clear to me then that she was holding back more tears.

How could I be so cruel? How could I have done something that made her feel this way? I wanted to take everything back right then and there. I wanted to draw her into my arms and ease her pain and kiss her until she forgot all about it.

But fear was controlling me now. Fear that Sebastian wouldn’t understand. Fear that our friendship would be ruined. Fear that I had been wrong to even initiate this kind of thing.

And by the time that I had mustered the courage to reach for Serenity, she was flinching away. “No, don’t touch me,” she said, repressing another sob. “You’re just going to tell me more pretty lies. I can’t take it anymore.”

“No, Serenity, you don’t understand.”

“I think I understand pretty well.” Her eyes were all red now, and I wanted to hit myself for causing her to feel this way. How was I even meant to fix this?

“Serenity, just let me explain, please.”

My please fell on deaf ears, for she was already running away, back upstairs to her own room, I would imagine.

I didn’t know if I should go after her or just leave her to sit with her emotions for a few minutes. I wanted to explain things to her. I wanted to make her understand why things were the way they were, and the fact that I would never want to intentionally hurt her. I needed to make her understand that I did want to be with her, I just didn’t know how to do so yet. And more than anything, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to assure her in words and actions that everything would be alright and tell her whatever she needed to know with my lips. Surely that was a language that both of us could speak, the one of touch, of physical affection.

But was that even more cruel of me? Should we end things now, go on as if they had never happened?

I wasn’t used to being so indecisive. All my life I had been sure of myself, of my authority. And yet there was something about Serenity that made me afraid I would mess everything up.

I don’t want to mess this up.

Chapter Fifteen

Serenity

I hadn’t expected that to happen like that at all.

From my perspective, things between Grayson and me had been going pretty well and I had really been expecting him to confirm that. But based on his response and on the things that he said, it was obvious that I was wrong.

I clutched the pillow to my chest as I curled up on the guest bed, trying to hold back my tears. This wasn’t something to cry over. After all, I had known from the start that things were destined to end; I just hadn’t expected them to end like this.

I still didn’t understand why it was such a big deal that Sebastian was coming down to visit. Sure, maybe he would be a little skeptical at first, but what I had said still held true for me.