A Christmas Match (Landon House #4) - Rose Pearson Page 0,41
hopes of pushing aside your difficult memories and discovering happier times? Yes, I am certain that you shall do so, for that is what you have been doing these last few years and now, it seems, you have every desire to continue to behave in such a way, regardless of what alternatives lie before you.” She lifted her chin and glared at him, aware of the anger in her heart and allowing it to burn fiercely rather than make any attempt to dampen it. “Good evening, Lord Hosmer. I find that I no longer wish to be in your company.”
Turning on her heel, she made her way to where Lady Hayward stood only a few steps away and, taking her chaperone’s arm, walked with her into the music room. It took a great deal of effort to put a calm expression on her face and to hide the truth of what she felt but, with Lady Hayward guiding her, Charity soon found herself sitting down in a quiet corner of the room as the other guests continued to make their way into the room.
“You spoke sharply to Lord Hosmer.” Charity nodded, glancing at Lady Hayward and fully expecting to see a gentle rebuke in her eyes but, much to her surprise, discovering that there was nothing of the sort present. “He has angered you?”
A sigh escaped from Charity’s lips.
“I – I feel anger, yes,” she admitted quietly, so that no-one else would overhear her. “To see him in such a state when he was so willing to do what he could to pull himself from this dark place has quite ruined my hope in him. I believed him when he stated that wanted very much to do as I had suggested.”
“To find happiness in the season and all the joy that it can bring,” Lady Hayward clarified, as Charity nodded. “To choose not to dwell on the past hurts that once were present here.”
“Indeed, that is it precisely,” Charity replied, feeling that faint stirring of anger in her heart again. “But now to see him so makes me realize that there is no question of his doing so. It appears that Lady Norwich has the same hold on him as before. He has made not even a single attempt to free himself from all that he feels and remembers! Instead, he has chosen to hide himself away and, when he does return to society, to drink as much liquor as he requires in order to forget.”
Lady Hayward held Charity’s gaze for a long moment and then spread her hands.
“I wish I could find something of encouragement to say to you, my dear,” she said, her expression one of great sympathy, “but all I can say at present is that I quite understand your feelings at this present moment. I too was rather… disappointed with his appearance this evening.” After a moment of silence, she leaned forward and looked Charity directly in the eye. “But do not give up all hope,” she finished, as Charity shook her head, unable to find even a modicum of such an emotion. “It may be that your words this evening will bring him back to where he was when he spoke to you in Gunter’s.”
“Or it may be that he will remove himself entirely from my company and decide to remain precisely as he is at present,” Charity replied, darkly. “Perhaps I have been foolish, Lady Hayward. I have been so busy considering Lord Hosmer that I have not once permitted myself to consider other gentlemen who might be of greater benefit to me in their company than he.”
Something flickered in Lady Hayward’s eyes.
“Or it may be that you have found someone who has caught your attention in a way that no other has as yet,” she said, just as their host rose from his chair, ready to announce the first song they might sing together. “Consider all that you feel, Lady Charity, and realize that Lord Hosmer might be slowly becoming more to you than you have ever expected.”
Chapter Ten
It was not entirely unexpected for Benedict to awaken with such a great pain in his head that it took all the willpower he had to simply lift his head from his pillow. He had spent the last few days doing very little other than wandering about his townhouse, a glass in his hand and a great many thoughts pounding into his mind, one after the other.
Although, he considered, groaning loudly as he sat up,