Christmas for Beginners - Carole Matthews Page 0,39

why I really want to take on this project that I’ve been offered.’

‘Hence all the meetings in London?’

‘I didn’t want to say anything until it was cut and dried.’

My food is still untouched, but Shelby tucks into his. I pick up my knife and fork, but I’ve not much appetite for my baked figs. I knew something was happening in the background, but I’ve chosen to ignore it.

‘I’ve landed a plum role in a panto,’ he says.

‘Oh no, you’ve haven’t!’

‘It’s already been done, Molly.’

‘Sorry, couldn’t help it.’ But we do both smile. And I’m relieved that it’s simply the offer of a job and not something more. ‘Panto, though? Why?’

‘Panto is fantastic now. It’s an all-star cast – some great names – and I’ll be the villain. Nebuchadnezzar!’ He says it in a pantomime villain voice, which makes the people on the next table jump. ‘The money is huge too. I really want to give it a go. The guy booked to do it had to drop out . . .’ He checks round again and mouths a name at me. It means nothing. ‘Rehab.’

‘Ah.’ Lucky for Shelby, not so lucky for him.

‘This is a great opportunity, Molly. I can’t stress it enough.’ ‘If it’s what you want . . .’

‘It is.’ He takes my hands. ‘Thanks for being so understanding.’

‘So, I take it that you won’t be at the open day?’ I can’t tell you how disappointed I am.

‘You have the mayor,’ he says, and I’m not sure if there’s an edge creeping into his voice.

‘But he’s not you.’

‘I’ll try my best to be there, but this is a big commitment. Once a day and twice on Wednesday and Saturday. I’ll only get Sunday off and then there may be press interviews and promotions to do.’

‘That does sound like a lot.’

‘Because I’ve had my storylines cut back, I can do my filming for Flinton’s Farm in short snatches, but I’ll have to be back in Birmingham every night.’

‘Birmingham?’

‘It’s not the end of the world.’

‘But it’s pretty far.’

‘I’ll come back whenever I can and it’s only for December.’

‘All of it?’ I can’t keep the surprise out of my voice.

‘Most of it,’ he admits. ‘The last show is on Christmas Eve. I’ll definitely be with you both on Christmas Day.’

‘Thank goodness for that.’

‘The run will be over by then and I might be asleep on the sofa all afternoon, but I’ll definitely be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Our first Christmas together. I know it’s not going to be easy for either of us, but the money will be like a windfall – I can’t turn it down. And I promise that I’ll make it up to you.’

He looks like he means it. But then I have Lucas’s voice ringing in my ears. ‘He’s an actor.’ Looking sincere was probably day one of acting school.

I’ve always spent Christmas Day alone with the animals and I’ve never minded, but this year I wanted it to be different. And, as you’ve probably gathered, it’s not only me that I’m worried about. It is, of course, Lucas. He’s hardly going to see his father at all and we’re having a tricky time anyway. The timing couldn’t be worse. ‘When do you start?’

‘Opening night is the beginning of the month.’

‘But that’s not far away at all.’ Shelby can’t meet my gaze and I realise that he must have known about this for a long time. ‘Have rehearsals already started?’

He nods. ‘I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how you’d feel.’

Of course he must have been involved by now. The show is starting in a few short weeks, the publicity needs to be done. It’s probably being advertised and I hadn’t even realised. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Seemingly, it’s only a pretence that he’s seeking my approval.

‘It’s your job,’ I concede. ‘What can I say? This is who you are. This is what you do. And, whatever you choose, I’m very proud of you.’

‘Thanks, Molly. That means a lot to me.’

But does it? I can’t tell him that I was depending on him to be there for us, that Lucas will be crushed by this. I don’t know if Shelby is grasping at straws with this panto role or whether it is something that he really wants. He seems very enthusiastic, so how can I rain on his parade? He’s been so supportive in the past, I kind of hoped we could rely on him again. I