Chasing Secrets - Jessica Sorensen Page 0,8
me to go first or you?”
“Whatever you want.”
“Okay, what do you want to know?” I ask, though I’m pretty sure I already know the answer.
“I want to know what happened in the bathroom.”
I internally sigh. “After I found out what I am, I ran into the bathroom and cut open my arm.” I feel like a freak saying it aloud. “But only because I wanted to see what was inside me. East walked in on me and freaked out.”
He doesn’t say anything right away, as if he’s struggling for the right words. “When I first got the real heart put inside me, I tried to cut it out. Asher caught me and stopped me from doing it … It was right after he rescued me from the experiment facility I’d been trapped at. The place … They did a lot of experiments on cyborgs and the heart … It felt so unnatural inside my chest, and loud and unfamiliar …” He pauses to take a breath. “I got used to it, though, and honestly, I’ve kind of grown to love it. It’s what makes me me, even if I’m not always completely okay with being that. I’m still working on it, but I think I’m getting better.” He shakes himself from his daze and looks at me. “My point is that I understand why you did that, but I also want you to know that it’ll get easier to deal with—that eventually, you’ll start getting more comfortable with yourself. And while it might take you a while to learn that what’s in you is good and beautiful, I already know that. I knew that the first time you took that rag from me, polished my arm, and told me we should be friends.”
I kind of feel glowy inside my chest right now, but it’s not because of my powers. No, it’s something different, something new and foreign and unknown, and that scares me but also makes me curious to find out what it is.
And there’s a ton of things I could say at that moment—monumental and meaningful things—but all I can manage is, “Thank you.” And then, to try to lighten the mood, I add, “You must have a thing for polishing. I’ll make a mental note of that.” I don’t really mean it in a sexual way, but when his cheeks turn pink, I realize maybe he means it in that way. And then I start to blush.
Jeez, aren’t we really two peas in a pod? Well, two created creatures in a closet.
“So, what do you want to know about me?” He changes the subject.
I was originally planning on asking him basically what he just told me.
I rack my mind for a question and end up saying the first thing that pops into my mind. And I instantly regret it. “Have you ever been in love?” Why did I just ask that? Out of all the things, with the curse still hanging over us, after he just touched me practically everywhere …
He appears a bit uneasy about the question, too, his fingers twitchy on my face like he wants to pull away but doesn’t.
“No,” he answers, and I’m not sure if I like the answer or not.
On the one hand, it makes my stomach plummet, thinking about the women he may have been with, but on the other hand, I know how lonely life can be without love.
“I’ve honestly barely been with anyone … intimately, which complicates falling in love since, to do that, you have to get close to someone.” He grows squirmy. “And like I’ve kind of told you before, not a lot of creatures want to get close to a cyborg. And that’s a normal cyborg. Who the hell knows how creatures would react if they found out I had a heart?”
“I like that you have a heart,” I tell him, looping my arms around the back of his neck, wanting to comfort him like he did with me moments ago. “It makes you seem special, which you are.” I smile so he knows I’m telling the truth.
He stares down at me in confused wonderment. “You know, over the last few weeks, I try to think back and remember what it was like before I met you, and all I can see is darkness.”
My heart aches for him. “I hope it’s not like that anymore.”
“No, not at all. It’s light now. Bright light.” He raises his hand to touch my face while leaning in to kiss