Chasing Him - Kat T. Masen Page 0,73
just to piss me off. How the hell do you want me to react?”
“I don’t want you to react! In fact, I didn’t tell you to get a reaction, I was just sounding off because I was disgusted. This is what I was always afraid of… you still have feelings for her. What the fuck is it about Charlie? Do you think about her when we have sex?”
“Is that what you think of me?” he chokes, barely able to speak.
“Well, you never deny it, Julian.”
“I shouldn’t have to. You have seen the hell I’ve been through, Adriana, and you want to throw that back in my face?”
“Well, it all makes sense now. I’m just a distraction or even some pawn in your sick twisted game. Why else would you stick around for so long?”
“Because I fucking love you, all right! But what good is that when you can’t get over your insecurities. Elijah didn’t abandon you by choice. He was dying, you need to stop being selfish and realize it’s not all about you.”
I remain quiet, not realizing everyone is gawking around us. Tristan stands close to Julian, waiting with caution.
“We’ll talk about this later,” I mutter.
“What’s the point, Adriana? You’ve obviously painted quite a pretty picture of me. I can’t escape my mistakes, and even when I try, you’re pushing me to make friends and attend parties like I’m invincible.”
Lex moves quickly to my side. “Do not talk to my sister like that.”
“Stay the fuck out of this, will you? You’ve finally got what you wanted.” Julian stands in front of Lex toe to toe, both of them glowering and on the verge of all hell breaking loose.
Lex lowers his voice, “And that’s how it will stay.”
In a swift move, Julian punches Lex in the face causing a hive of activity and Rocky to step in between them. It’s a blur, and the sounds are drowned out, the yelling and screaming as I stand still completely numb for seconds on end. The moment I snap out of it, I see Lex being held back by Rocky, his bloody face mixed with the white face paint is distorted by anger and pure hatred. Julian fares no better. There’s blood all over his face and a cut above his eye, Tristan and Eric trying to calm him down as he bites back at Lex, both of them fueled by rage and jealousy.
“Stay the fuck away from my wife,” Lex lashes out.
“Always about you, Edwards,” Julian spits back.
“You’re damn right. My wife, and that’s how it’ll always stay.”
“Can’t erase the past, Edwards. I’m not the one bringing it up all the time.”
“I don’t give a shit. She chose me, you got it?”
I intervene, pushing onto Julian’s chest. “Don’t do this,” I beg of him.
Julian pushes my hands away from his chest, creating a distance between us. “You always push me, asking me about Charlie… am I thinking about her, do I love her? It’s all in your imagination, Adriana.” He releases a drunken laugh. “So, no, it’s always been about you, but now that you’re bringing it up, I did love Charlie, I wanted to marry her a long time ago, and wait for it, Edwards, this one’s for you. I stopped thinking about how much Charlie loved to be fucked, but always nice to take a walk down memory lane since that’s what you supposedly want.”
Both Rocky and an onlooker try to hold back Lex all the while as I stand there gobsmacked at Julian’s hurtful words. Julian turns to face me, out of breath, eyes wild with rage and hurt as he says the words I’ve dreaded all along. “I’m done. I can’t do this, Adriana, it’s too hard.” He shakes his head, defeated. “I love you, but you’ll always choose your brother over me, and I refuse to go on always being someone’s second place. Even I know I don’t deserve that.”
My voice croaks, and I try to speak to no avail.
With a second attempt, I finally sync my mind and voice. “Julian, don’t do this. Please, I didn’t mean the things I said.”
His eyes have settled, and his brown pupils stare deep into mine, piercing my soul with pain, knowing that the damage is done, and I’m losing the one person who means more to me than anyone else.
The man I love.
Tell him you love him… now.
I want to tell him, but he beats me to the punch. “You doubted me, and I never thought you would do