Chasing Him - Kat T. Masen Page 0,100

us, inside my heart and in the eyes of our son.

I may have been a warrior, but he has been my protector. I was dying, and the darkness that surrounded me was my demon.

Today, I’m alive, and I have a purpose.

To be the best mother I can be to my son.

To love unconditionally.

And most importantly, to finally feel free to follow my heart and love the man who brought me back to life. Julian.

I may have fallen more times than I allowed myself to stand, but finally, I understand that the world isn’t an evil place. There is love, there is compassion, and we all have our battles, but we somehow draw strength when everything seems impossible. To conquer these battles is worth a celebration.

And I’ve no doubt my angel is finally dancing.

He’s proud, and I can now rest knowing that finally, I’ve let go of the anger and am able to happily follow his wishes.

I have learned to love.

Again.

Life changes in ways we don’t expect.

It’s always been my dream to open my own boutique and showcase my designs, but with Julian in my life, I found a greater purpose. His publisher signed him to a four-book deal, and it means he will continue to travel and write his stories. He initially declined the New York Times job, but they wanted him, offering him more money and flexibility to do video meetings rather than fly to New York.

After accompanying him on a few trips, there’s one thing I’m certain of—it isn’t the glam celebrities who need my clothing, but the countless women I’ve met abroad. They can barely cover their bodies due to low socio-economic environments, not to mention have several children who need basic necessities such as food and water. In turn, this leaves them open to the men of their villages who ravage them, and once again, they will end up with another mouth to feed.

Lex accompanied us on that trip along with my dad. It was an eye-opener for both of us. Julian is comfortable being in a third-world country and spending time with the families as is my dad, who will medically assist, but Lex and I, we’re sheltered.

Lex has the wealth, I have the creativity, and we came together to put our knowledge and wealth to use. Lex was able to negotiate fabric at a low cost, and I’m able to provide jobs to women who need work to provide for their families. It’s a win-win situation spending countless hours with these women in their homes, which brings me so much pleasure. I spend time showing them my creations, and together we create modest garments for ladies in the villages and school uniforms for the local children.

This trip, however, is different.

My palms are sweating profusely, but Julian doesn’t let go. The room is dim, the worn-out curtains are barely shutting out the light. With every inch, every step closer, my heart is beating louder. I want to drop to my knees, my heart aching as I take in how dilapidated the room is. The air is thick and humid, and my breathing is out of sync.

This is not fair.

The world is not fair.

Life is not fair.

The bed is small made of rusted steel pillars. Dirty stained sheets are all I can see lying on top of the bed, but then, like the flick of a switch, my world and heart are turned upside-down in one split second.

I’m floating toward the bed, and Julian is squeezing my hand for dear life. My eyes can’t fathom what I see, the beauty and life which belongs to us.

My dad stands beside the bed with his bag open wide. He takes out the necessary instruments and does what he’s medically trained to do. Julian and I watch intently, every move, every reflex down to the expressions on my dad’s face. Is it concern? Is it worry? My stomach churns nervously as we wait for his conclusion.

It happens an hour later, the smile which brightens up the room, the hope and prayers that have been answered.

My voice is hoarse, and with a nervous tremble, I ask, “Is everything okay, Dad?”

He doesn’t say a word, carefully placing his instruments in his bag. Once zipped, he focuses his attention back on the bed and carefully, he lifts and cradles her in his arms. “There are just a few little things, but nothing that concerns me too much. You have my full consent to take my granddaughter home.” He smiles, carefully rocking her