Chasing Heartbreak (Dark Love #6) - Kat T. Masen Page 0,56
raises her eyes to meet mine. “I promise to share this information, okay? I’ve just been tired. And work has been asking me to come back, and it’s a lot of things.”
“What did you tell them?”
“Nothing. I have no idea how to juggle working as an airline hostess with an infant. My hours are long, it’s not a nine-to-five job, as you know. But I can’t stay on leave forever. There are bills to pay. I’ll have to look for something else.”
“I told you I want to help, split the cost. It’s the least I can do.”
“I know, Noah. You just need to be patient with me. I have no clue what I’m doing, and I appreciate having you help when you can, especially because you’ve done this before. Speaking of which, I meant to ask you, does Morgan know about Nash?”
I nod my head, staring at Nash’s little face. Although he’s so young, his features have developed and look almost identical to when I was his age. At least, that’s according to my mom.
“I told her. She said nothing. Actually, no, she said congratulations with a forced smile and hasn’t asked about him since.”
Olivia’s brows draw together as her face softens. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” I remark harshly, frustrated with Morgan’s attitude. “Morgan is difficult, and it’s not your problem.”
“Here, let me take Nash, and why don’t you go get something to eat?”
I hand him over to her, the instant weight disappearing from my arms, leaving me hollow. I tell her I’ll be back, walking out of the room and outside the hospital for some fresh air.
The air in San Francisco inhales much differently than LA. Clearer, or perhaps, it’s all in my imagination. With my phone in hand, I hit dial to Kate, promising I’d update her once I had some news.
“Noah, is everything okay? We’re all worried here?” Kate rushes.
“An infection. They’re doing some further tests and monitoring him overnight. The fever has dropped, slightly.”
“I’m sorry, Noah. And you? How are you holding up?”
I can hear Charlie in the background, throwing questions at Kate. It’s a distraction, and I really want to hear Kate’s voice, not my cousin acting like a crazed lunatic.
“Is there somewhere you can go? So we can talk in private?”
“Of course, let me call you back.”
Moments later, my phone rings. “Okay, I’m alone. Is everything okay?”
My head drops at the same time my chest tightens. The guilt is consuming me, bringing all my failures to light. I’m just like him, the father who never stepped foot in my home because he had some other life. Neither one of my kids deserve this, and that’s all I am—an absent father.
“How am I supposed to do this, Kate? I can’t be in two places at the same time. I know what it’s like not to have a dad around. I watched my mom sacrifice her whole life for me. Is that fair to Olivia?”
“Noah,” Kate breathes, calming my nerves. “You’re doing the best you can, given the circumstances. Sure, the distance isn’t helping. I know you have Jessa here, but have you considered asking Olivia to move closer to you?”
“No, I didn’t think of asking because I know she has her own life.”
“It’s just a suggestion, and it doesn’t hurt to ask. I’m not a parent, but from a practical standpoint, if she lived in LA, you’d have more time with your son.”
“My life is a fucked-up mess.”
“No one is perfect,” she tries to reassure me. “This is your time right now, and you’ll never get these moments back. Go spend time with your son, Noah. He needs you, and so does Olivia.”
“Will you wait for me?”
“I promised I would, right?”
“Kate,” I whisper, needing to say so much more. “I’ll be home soon. I need to see you.”
“I’m not going anywhere right now, Noah.”
We hang up the phone, and with a clearer mind, I wander back to the room thinking about Kate’s suggestion. It never occurred to me to ask Olivia to move because, in the back of my mind, I placed her in the same category as Morgan—a woman. Therefore, difficult and stubborn. But Olivia isn’t like that, now that I think about it rationally.
Nash sleeps through the night, and by morning, his fever has dropped with his appetite returning. The doctor discharges him around midday, sending us home to continue monitoring him.
I send Kate a quick text, letting her know my plans.
Me: I’m going to stay one more night. I just want to