Chasing Charli - Kat Mizera Page 0,45
out to her car, his fingers laced with hers.
“You sure you don’t want me to come over?” he asked as he leaned in to kiss her.
“I’m positive. Honestly, I can’t do another all-nighter of sex and then have to teach all day. I’ve been exhausted.”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I’ll be more…” He couldn’t think of the word. “You know what I mean; I’ll think about your schedule more when we’re together, but the school year is almost over, yes?”
“Yes. About a month.”
“And then maybe we go on vacation?”
“Aren’t you going back to Finland?” She seemed almost wary as she asked him the question.
“I haven’t thought about this,” he admitted. “Usually I go, but I haven’t bought my ticket yet and Tara just arrived, so not for a while. If I go, would you like to go with me?”
She hesitated. “You want me to meet your family?”
“Of course. Why not?”
“I don’t know. It feels kind of soon. It’s only been, like, a month, Miikka.”
“Jaana and I were together for thirteen years and she was not the right woman for me. Has nothing to do with time. It’s all about what’s in here.” He tapped his fist against his chest. “Don’t you feel it too?”
She looked away. “It’s hard for me to trust, Miikka. You know that.”
“Yes, but you will trust me. There is no other choice. I’m not the same as those who hurt you.”
He found her eyes and made sure she was looking at him as he kissed her. “It’s me,” he said softly, his lips skimming hers. “Don’t you know who I am by now?”
She didn’t answer, instead pressing her lips to his and kissing him back, hard, before pulling away and smiling. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
She got in her car and pulled out of the parking lot, leaving Miikka staring after her worriedly. What had brought this on? Something was bothering her, so he’d make sure to talk to her about whatever it was tomorrow.
Charli lay in bed for a long time when she got home, her thoughts too much of a jumble to get any sleep. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she got up and went to her closet, rummaging around until she found the old shoebox she kept mementos in. Roy’s high school class ring sat in the bottom and she pulled it out, holding it between two fingers as she inspected it. She hadn’t looked at it in years, not since she’d come back to Alaska anyway, and she studied the blue stone intently, as if it would give her answers or something.
The past seemed to be coming out of her psyche more and more lately, no matter how good things were with Miikka. In her heart of hearts, she believed Roy had left her because, for whatever reason, she wasn’t good enough. Not because of the baby she carried or because her parents had kept them apart, but because at its core, their love hadn’t been enough for him. It didn’t take a degree in psychology to understand why these deep-seated beliefs had taken root, but pushing past them was something different altogether.
Things weren’t the same now, because even if she never saw Miikka again, she still had her home, her job, Kendra and a handful of other friends from work. Her life was quiet but pleasant, and she’d learned to live without a man. If only Miikka didn’t make her so damn happy. He was the whole package. Good-looking, wealthy, kind, gentle and a fantastic lover. He was practically sleeping over every night already, and talking about taking her to Finland to meet his family made her nervous. That was the kind of thing people did when they were serious, and she was falling in love with him, which meant they were on a path she hadn’t expected to be on so soon.
She desperately needed to rein in her feelings and keep things casual because she liked Miikka more than she should at this stage. And Roy’s ring was a reminder that men lied, that they said what you wanted to hear and then changed their minds on a dime. Even after what Roy had done, she’d tried again, trusting her lab partner during her sophomore year of college. She and Sean had fallen in love, started making plans for after graduation, and then the day before the ceremony, he’d told her he changed his mind about not wanting children, even though she’d been clear that she didn’t. They’d talked