coffee shop with my laptop in order to complete my assignments.
As she passes me the still warm paper fresh from the printer, her hand lingers on mine.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” she whispers, casting glances in both directions. “Those bullies of yours…”
“I’m better now,” I promise, hoping to put her fears at ease. She has a right to be worried, but not for me this time. I refuse to be a victim again. I’m better than that, stronger than that, and the last thing I want or need is to venture back to the dark place that almost killed me five years ago.
“Good. That’s good,” she whispers, but she doesn’t sound convinced. There’s a slight furrow between her brows, as if she’s attempting to calculate a difficult math equation. “You’ll come to me if you need anything, right?”
My heart thumps erratically in my chest at her words. At the sheer prospect that someone actually cares about me in this hellhole.
“Cross my heart and hope to die,” I say, using my finger to create an X over my chest. “I’ll even pinkie promise if you want me to.”
She rolls her eyes at my dramatics before shooing me away.
“Go. Get ready for class.”
“Yes, ma’am.” With a two-fingered salute, I duck out of the office and into the hallway. It’s already busier than it was when I first arrived less than ten minutes ago. Students, like me, are carrying cups of coffee and are rubbing sleep from their eyes.
I understand school. I honestly do.
But why the fuck do classes need to start so early in the morning? It’s not even light outside, for fuck’s sake.
As I walk through the halls, heading towards the gymnasium, I can’t help but notice the appreciatory stares I get from both guys and girls alike. They’re not hateful as they had been years ago. They’re not even calculating.
It’s nice to be the recipient of attention that isn’t cruel or domineering.
I stop in front of the wing of the school that houses the three gyms, weight room, and aerobics classroom. If my calculations are correct…
With a spring to my step, I venture into the weight room first, where both the football team and cheerleading squad are hard at work. My eyes survey all of the occupants quickly before landing on my two targets.
Karsyn Alder and Mariabella Stevens.
The quarterback of the football team and his perky, beautiful cheerleader girlfriend.
Karsyn currently has his back to me, deep in conversation with a man I recognize to be his tight end. Mariabella is giggling with one of her friends, blonde hair slicked back into a tight ponytail and perky breasts on display in her skin-tight sports bra.
I chance another glance at Karsyn, but he’s still oblivious to my presence. That’s okay, I suppose. He’ll come to see me soon enough.
With considerable effort, I wrench my gaze away from his sweat-soaked gray shirt and focus on the cheerleading coach, Mrs. Watson. I memorize her face briefly before stepping back out.
My heart hammers a mile a minute as pain—thick and cloying pain—cascades through me. I thought seeing Karsyn would be like eating a bad taco. You feel nauseous for a second, but then get over it. Instead, it’s as if every bandage I painstakingly applied to myself has been ripped from my skin. The once scabbed over wounds are now open and bleeding, visible for the world to see.
Fuck!
I press my head against the wall to control my eccentric breathing before willing myself to relax.
I didn’t even see his face, and already, it feels as if my world is shattering around me.
Why did I think that this would be easy?
Life, I have come to realize, is never easy. It’s a fucking landmine, and one wrong move can send everything into flames.
Hands shaking, I remove my notepad from the side of my backpack. It’s spelled so no one will be able to read my words unless I let them.
Next to Karsyn’s name, I write, In weight room, 7:23 AM. With Mariabella.
The next name on the list is Cassian Jereome.
Where, oh where, will I find my little musician at this hour of the day?
Without preamble, I head in the opposite direction of the gym, towards the auditorium. According to my research, the builders added several practice spaces adjacent to the band room. The first two I find are empty, but the third…
I wasn’t able to get a good look at Karsyn, but I am able to see Cassian Jereome. His dark skin glints in