“The chef at my banquet! And I must eat whatever you bring—for my good and for yours.”
She sounded almost manic. An odd person. Sometimes she appeared to be the most wretched of women, pacing her quarters like a caged beast. That mad look in her eyes, orange flecks in the corneas … as there were now.
“Do you still refuse to work on Scytale?”
“Let Sheeana do it.”
“Will you coach her?”
“And she will use my coaching on the child!”
They stared at each other, realizing they shared a similar thought. This is not confrontation because each of us wants the other.
“I am committed to you for what you can give me,” Murbella said, her voice low. “But you want to know if I may ever act against that commitment?”
“Could you?”
“No more than you could if circumstances demanded it.”
“Do you think you will ever regret your decision?”
“Of course I will!” What kind of damnfool question was that? People always had regrets. Murbella said this.
“Just confirming your self-honesty. We like it that you don’t fly under false colors.”
“You get false ones?”
“Indeed.”
“You must have ways of weeding them out.”
“The Agony does that for us. Falsehoods don’t come through the Spice.”
“And you’re not going to demand I give up Duncan?” Very spiny.
“That attachment presents difficulties, but they are your difficulties.”
“Another way of asking me to give him up?”
“Accept the possibility, that is all.”
“I can’”
“You won’t?”
“I mean what I say. I’m incapable.”
“And if someone showed you how?”
Murbella stared into Odrade’s eyes for a long beat, then: “I almost said that would set me free… but …”
“Yes?”
“I could not be free while he was bound to me.”
“Is that renunciation of Honored Matre ways?”
“Renunciation? Wrong word. I’ve merely grown beyond my former Sisters.”
“Former Sisters?”
“Still my Sisters, but they’re Sisters of childhood. Some I remember fondly, some I dislike intensely. Playmates in a game that no longer interests me.”
“That decision satisfies you?”
“Are you satisfied, Mother Superior?”
Odrade clapped her hands with unrestrained elation. How swiftly Murbella acquired Bene Gesserit riposte!
“Satisfied? What a hellishly deady word!”
As Odrade spoke, Murbella felt herself move as in a dream to the edge of an abyss, unable to awaken and prevent the plunge. Her stomach ached with secret emptiness and Odrade’s next words came from echoing distance.
“The Bene Gesserit is all to a Reverend Mother. You will never be able to forget that.”
As quickly as it had come, the dream sensation passed. Mother Superior’s next words were cold and immediate.
“Prepare for more advanced training.”
Until you meet the Agony—live or die.
Odrade lifted her gaze to the ceiling comeyes. “Send Sheeana in here. She begins at once with her new teacher.”
“So you’re going to do it! You’re going to work on that child.”
“Think of him as Bashar Teg,” Odrade said. “That helps.” And we’re not giving you time to reconsider.
“I didn’t resist Duncan and I can’t argue with you.”
“Don’t even argue with yourself, Murbella. Pointless. Teg was my father and still I must do this.”
Until that moment, Murbella had not realized the force behind Odrade’s earlier statement. The Bene Gesserit is all to a Reverend Mother. Great Dur protect me! Will I be like that?
We witness a passing phase of eternity. Important things happen but some people never notice. Accidents intervene. You are not present at episodes. You depend on reports. And people shutter their minds. What good are reports? History in a news account? Preselected at an editorial conference, digested and excreted by prejudice? Accounts you need seldom come from those who make history. Diaries, memoirs and autobiographies are subjective forms of special pleading. Archives are crammed with such suspect stuff.
-Darwi Odrade
Scytale noticed the excitement of guards and others when he reached the barrier at the end of his corridor. Rapid movement of people, especially this early in the day, had attracted him first and sent him to the barrier. There went that Suk doctor, Jalanto. He recognized her from the time Odrade had sent her “because you are looking ill.” Another Reverend Mother to spy on me!
Ahhhh, Murbella’s baby. That was why this rushing around and the Suk.
But who were all those others? Bene Gesserit robes in an abundance he had never before seen here. Not just acolytes. Reverend Mothers outnumbered the others he saw rushing about down there. They reminded him of great carrion birds. There went an acolyte at last, carrying a child on her shoulders. Very mysterious. If only I had a link to Shipsystems!