across his tattooed arms, teasing the hair there with my nails. He shudders behind me, but I can't tell if that's because he likes me touching him or because he's completely freaked out by Brittany's presence.
“Another condition I have is that I want time to talk to Hael alone.” Brittany narrows her eyes on me. “And if the baby is his, then I want us back together, and I want her”—Brittany points a French manicured nail tip at me—“to keep her slutty hands off of him.”
A laugh bubbles up from out of nowhere, and it takes every ounce of self-control I have not to throw myself at that girl, to hit her somewhere that isn't her belly and listen to her howl in pain.
“That won't be possible,” Oscar amends, before I get a chance to second-guess my own self-control. “Bernadette is a member of Havoc; Hael is a member of Havoc. These things are signed and sealed in blood; they cannot be undone.”
“You're a member of Havoc, and you don't fuck him,” Brittany blurts at Oscar, throwing her arm out for emphasis as she clutches her ruined sweater even closer. Oscar gives her a long, studying sort of look.
“No, I don't, but I could if I wanted to. Havoc is family, and you are not family and will never be. So. I will look into your request and get back to you with a price, but what Bernadette and Hael do in the bedroom is not and will never be your business.” Oscar turns away from her and moves over to the Camaro, pausing to glance over his shoulder at Brittany. “Meet us at the drive-in after school tomorrow, and we'll give you our price.”
“On your side of the tracks?” Brittany manages to choke out, but there's no need for any of us to answer her in that regard. We all know that the answer to that question is yes.
Hael opens the passenger side door for me, and I climb in, deciding that for today, at least, I'll accept his gentlemanly advances. Brittany gawks at us as Oscar and Hael move around to climb in on the driver's side, but she knows better than to say anything. Most students at this school would rather commit hara-kiri than call on Havoc; she has to know she's walking on thin ice.
“About all that shit you said about me being yours,” Hael starts, but I ignore him, leaning forward to push play on the stereo and starting up Lion by Hollywood Undead.
“Don't push it,” I tell him, melting back into the seat and closing my eyes.
I'm exhausted, but I could sleep for a thousand years and find no rest in it. No, I won't truly rest until every name on my list is crossed off in bloodred lipstick and buried.
“Her entire request is bullshit,” I grind out, sitting on top of one of the old picnic tables as I watch Fuller High kids pull into the drive-in across the railroad tracks. It's been a while since we visited the old grease pit, but I have to say, it feels good, sitting here surrounded by other rejects from Prescott High, like I'm exactly where I should be.
“That doesn't matter,” Vic says absently, leaning back on the table in a black wifebeater, his hair greased back like he thinks he's John Travolta or something. I'll never admit how handsome he looks like that; I'd rather die. “You know as well as anyone else that when someone calls Havoc, they set the terms, we set the price.”
Hael is sitting quietly across from us, head buried in his hands. His bloodred hair catches the light as he goes through what looks like a mourning process, like he's saying goodbye to life as he knows it. I'd ask how things could possibly get any worse than they are, but then, I know that rock-bottom is just an illusion. Fate is a cunt, and she will drill down into that stone beneath your feet and send you straight to hell first chance she gets.
What's worse than having a mentally ill mom, a murderer for a father, and a gang war on your hands?
That's right, adding a squalling infant birthed by a woman you hate.
“I've calculated the cost of her request already,” Oscar remarks, consulting his iPad like he always does. Wouldn't surprise me if he lubed up and fucked it, too. “A lifetime commitment from Hael would require a life in return; that's not something she's going to be