my body and delves into my soul. I'm bleeding again, just splashing crimson everywhere, and I don't know what to do about it.
That's what sets me off, how gentle and vulnerable he sounds.
No.
I'm not letting him or any of the others pull the wool over my eyes again.
I throw the tortilla on a plate and then lift my eyes up to meet Vic's.
“You're right,” I tell him, and he cocks a brow, seemingly pleased with himself. But if he thought things would be that easy, then he doesn't know Bernadette Blackbird for shit. “I do love him.”
“What?” Vic barks on the end of a harsh laugh. He's forgotten about his statement from just a few minutes ago.
“Aaron,” I repeat, putting another tortilla on the burner and shrugging my shoulders like it doesn't matter. But it does. It matters in innumerable ways, too many to count or quantify. It matters because that statement isn't just a way to make Vic hurt; it's an admission to myself. Seeing Aaron covered in blood, his face ashen, his lips pale, that was a wakeup call for me.
Nothing lasts forever.
And a lie you tell yourself can be just as damaging as one you tell to somebody else.
I love Aaron Fadler, and I've never stopped loving him.
That doesn't mean I forgive him or that I want to get back together, but it's something.
“I love Aaron,” I repeat again, loving the way Vic's jaw clenches, the muscle in his neck ticking as his pulse picks up, fueled by jealous rage. I love it, too. And I'm not ashamed of that. I want him to hurt the way I'm hurting right now. See, told you we were both toxic.
“Why are you telling me this?” he asks me, his voice just this side of a snarl. If I weren’t certain he was in love with me, too, I'd be scared right now. I mean, if I had anything left to fear, that is.
“Because I want you to get out,” I tell him, flipping over the next tortilla and starting another. “I want you to leave so I can spend time with Aaron without you.” I'm being a petty bitch right now. I know I am, and I don't care. Why should I? The boys have wounded me in an irreparable way, shattered my fragile trust, twisted my reality.
“Is that so?” Vic growls, coming around the counter. My breath catches as he gets too close to me, pressing his body against my back, putting his big hands on my hips. I hate how much I love it, how much I crave him. “You want me to leave so you can fuck his crippled ass on the sofa?”
He thinks he's being cute here.
I'm most definitely not.
“That was the plan,” I lie. I'm not up to having sex with anyone right now. Aaron might not be the leader of this sordid club of assholes, but he knew about the video, too. They all did. “So take your hard-on away from my back and fuck all the way off with it.”
Vic's hands tighten on my hips, and I have to close my eyes to keep from reacting to that. If he gets even the slightest inkling of how much I want him, he'll push me, and I won't be able to say no.
A low, sinful laugh escapes Vic's lips, ruffling the hair on the back of my neck.
“You test my patience, Bernadette.”
“The feeling's mutual,” I quip back, putting the last tortilla on the plate. I'm trapped here, penned in by his arms, desperate to escape but also … desperate to stay. I close my eyes on the realization. You're in love with Victor, Bernadette. You have been for years. No matter how nasty he is, how cruel, how inhuman … it doesn't matter.
Love knows no boundaries.
“You could've had a much different life than this,” Vic whispers, bending low and putting his head up against the side of my face. He rubs against me, teasing my smooth cheek with his stubbled one. It should be sweet, the way he's nuzzling me, but instead, all I can think of is a lion, maned and wild, rubbing up against his female.
It's a possessive move, a dominant one.
He wants to own me. Little does he know that a lioness can never be bought or sold.
I glance over, putting our faces precariously close together.
“They all wanted that for you,” Victor says quietly, dark eyes simmering. “An escape. A different life. A chance to be something better than a