“We’re supposed to play Santa. We don’t do all this stuff.”
“Did you not read the contract?” I asked.
It was pretty clear most of them hadn’t. They thought they were going to get free room and board while sitting on their ass for a few hours a day.
“You want us to be bellhops?” someone asked.
“If that’s what your room occupants ask of you, yes.”
The mumbles and complaints amped up. I turned to Chase, looking for help.
He clapped his hands together. “All right, let’s run through some scenarios and we’ll show you what is expected of you.”
“Are we play acting or are we doing our jobs? You guys realize we play Santa. We’re not actually Santa.”
“You,” I said, pointing at the man speaking. “Please, come here.”
That shut him up. He got to his feet, adjusting the suspenders that framed his authentic jelly belly. “What?”
“I’m a guest and I’ve asked you for turndown service. What do you do?”
He scratched his belly. “Turn down the TV?”
I thought I heard a whimper from Chase. I pasted a smile on my face. “A turndown service would mean you go into the room and fold the blanket back part way. Basically, you are making the bed ready for the guest to sleep in. We have mints that you’ll place on the pillows.”
“Why in the hell would I prepare the bed of a grown man or woman?”
“Because that’s what we are offering,” Chase answered.
“That’s stupid. Who’s going to turn down our beds?”
“You are,” I snapped. “Now, another service you will be providing, should the guest request it, is room-service delivery.”
“Oh, you have got to be shitting me,” someone said.
My eyes widened as I spun around. “Who said that?” I snapped. “You’re playing the role of Santa. Keep the language clean at all times. That was outlined in the contract. We are not scarring little kids.”
“Sorry,” he muttered.
“Now, you’ll go to the kitchen and push the room-service cart up. All of this needs to be done in costume. You will also be expected to escort guests to their scheduled spa treatments if they ask. Some of you will be on duty on the photo set. That is something you should all be familiar with. You’ll sit and smile for as many kids and people that come through the door.”
“Are we supposed to wipe their asses as well?”
“Again, language. Get in the habit of keeping it clean. You should know, cursing, shouting, or doing anything else that is inappropriate in front of the children will result in your immediate termination.”
“Oh, she’s a tough one.” Someone chuckled.
“She’s not the one you have to worry about,” Chase said, quickly coming to my defense. “I understand some of you are out of work. We’ve made a deal with your union to bring all of you on, along with some pretty hefty benefits. I would appreciate it if you could all take this seriously. We want to give our guests an experience they won’t forget.”
I looked out at the faces staring back at me. That seemed to settle them down a bit. I cleared my throat, knowing there was still more to cover. “Guests will have the option to buy gifts from our gift shop. They will leave a door hanger on their door with anything they request. It will be your job to fulfill those requests, whether it be delivering something at a specific time or providing laundry service.”
“Laundry service?” one of them gasped.
“You won’t actually have to do the laundry,” I explained. “You’ll take the laundry bags to the laundry room downstairs and return it once it is cleaned.”
“Why do I feel like we are playing gopher instead of Santa?”
“It’s a concierge service,” I said again. “You are essentially a butler.”
That was the wrong thing to say. Chase held up his hand once again. “Thank you all. We need to bring in the next group. You have your room assignments. Please, I beg you to review the information in the packet. You will need it all tomorrow. This is important.”
They filed out of the room, giving us a brief reprieve between groups.
“It will be okay,” I assured him.
He looked at me with doubt. “Why are they all so surprised by what the job is? We provided the information to them well in advance. They signed contracts stating they read the material.”
“I think they were all so desperate for a job they didn’t bother reading the details. They probably thought they were just going to sit all day.”