didn’t have to. I know you think I was, and you were right. I was. I didn’t realize I was doing it. I swear, if I would have known, I wouldn’t have been such an asshole.”
“You weren’t an asshole.”
“I’m not giving up on us. We’re good together. You make me a better man. I need to be a better man. I like the man I am when I’m with you. You don’t want to leave me hanging, do you?”
He was making it very difficult to be angry with him. He always did. The man was charming and handsome, and for whatever reason, I could never resist him. But I would. I needed to. He was not good for my heart. I took a deep breath and told myself to remain strong.
“We’re both very busy with our careers. You’ve got a new hotel to run and I need to focus on my new job. We are both very driven and we both care a great deal about our jobs. You say I’m tenacious, but you are just as tenacious when it comes to your resort. I know you have big dreams to open more resorts. That’s going to take a lot of time and energy.”
“It’s not that time consuming,” he protested.
“This is not the time to try and take on a difficult relationship. It would never work. It’s just too much work and it’s only going to lead to misery on both sides.”
“I could never be miserable with you,” he insisted.
I stopped walking and turned to face him. “It’s better this way. I want to focus on my career. It’s important to me.”
“I’m important to you.”
I had to laugh. “That’s bold.”
“I know I am.”
I gave him a hug before kissing him on the cheek. “You’ll always be close to my heart but this relationship or whatever we had is over. I can’t do it right now.”
“Harper, wait, please,” he said and grabbed my hand when I moved to walk away.
“I can’t, Chase. I just can’t.”
I pulled my hand away from his and walked toward my car as fast as I could navigate. I got into my car and drove straight to the hotel. I didn’t trust myself to stop. If I looked back and saw him looking at me, I wouldn’t keep going. I would want to turn around and fall back into his arms.
It was hard the first time to walk away from him. The second time had been brutal.
I walked into the small room and dropped my keys on the small table. I hated staying in hotels. It felt so strange and alone. The suite at Chase’s hotel had been so much more inviting and comfortable. It truly felt like being at home. This place with the boring-ass picture on the wall and the dull furniture was not homey. It was more of a place to stay overnight.
I flopped down in the uncomfortable chair and stared out at the night sky. I felt very alone. Seeing Chase had stirred up those feelings I was trying so hard to ignore. Was I making a mistake? He wanted to change. I believed him. I felt him trying hard to keep me happy. It was sweet, but my survival instinct was kicking in hard.
I thought he’d changed when I first started working with him. I saw the man I wanted him to be and I fell hard for him. I let myself believe he was grown up. I thought all his thoughtful gestures were sweet and romantic. As it turned out, they were self-serving. He was only trying to keep up the charade long enough for the hotel to be launched and his article to be published.
“Ouch,” I winced, touching my hand to my heart.
It truly was painful to think I was used. The worst part about it was I did it to myself. I knew better, and I let myself fall for him all over again. Even now, I was actually considering going back to him. People changed. Chase could change. He said all the right things, and about eighty percent of the time, he did the right things. It was just that twenty percent that got me.
Getting back in with him would lead to heartache eventually. It was better to leave things where they were. It was uncomfortable now, but it would get better. It would get better a lot faster if I wasn’t fully invested in him. It was ripping off the band-aid before it could really get stuck